DAY 19 - YOU DONT WANT TO LOSE, DO YOU?

And fine....... (Ini soal jodoh)

I'm not going to throw accusations or be judgmental against anyone But, what I'm going to write is just how I feel about situations when there's a third party in a relationship.

We can't deny that all marriages would have its ups and downs. More often a marriage would start being on the rock when there's a third party involved otherwise they will try their utmost best to deal with the situation and resolve the crisis especially when there are kids effected . They would be more focused on addressing issues which caused the rift if there's no third party to distract the wife/husband attention. So, both would, Insya Allah, try their best to save the marriage.

But, when there's a third party in the equation, the third party will seem to be offering a better deal than the spouse and it would be a good excuse for the husband/wife to call it quits, because he/she would be thinking, "If this marriage were to end, there is someone waiting to start a new life with. The divorce won't be that painful. Life would just continue as it is with a different person". And because of that the sanctity of the marriage institution would just dissipate into thin air. 

 Yes, the divorce won't be painful for you, but what about your spouse who had been through thick and thin with you, and your kids?

And I feel all of these could be avoided if both husband and wife are loyal and sincere to each other. This is ESPECIALLY important when they know or they feel that there are girls/guys out there who are trying to hit on them.

(Jangan gatal nak layan or nak try test you masih laku atau tidak dalam market. Ini jadi penyebab why husbands and wives start to go astray macam excited giler bile tau dia masih attractive or desirable pada orang lain).

I believe that if you know or if you feel a girl/guy is trying to make a move on you, you should tell it straight to his or her face that you're married. You don't owe him/her anything. But, you do owe your spouse your loyalty. 

BUT, MORE IMPORTANTLY, YOU SHOULD SHARE THIS WITH YOUR SPOUSE. You should tell your spouse about the particular girl/guy, and you should always update your spouse on whatever attempts the guy/girl is making to get you. Don't wait.

(jangan nak syok sendiri dan rasa gatal macam monyet bila ade orang tunjuk interests in you. Imaan kena teguh). 

Once your spouse is aware of your pursuer, this will ensure that you stay anchored to the marriage and your spouse who before took you for granted, will also start paying more attention to you because you are becoming a prized possession. There is  a competitor in pursue.........

 And you  don't want to lose, do you?

DAY 18 – MY TEENAGE CRUSH.....

Sacrifices made. Times shared. Nothing was ever asked in return. It was all receiving and receiving from him. All the helps were sincerely given. Believe me……

It was like……a Prince Charming In a Shining Armour riding a black stallion. I noticed him that night and we exchanged contact numbers at a wedding dinner (knew him a long time ago before he finished uni, I was only seven then) .

The "current" flowed and the calls came ever so constantly for the next three months (I was waiting for my SPM results). Almost every hour he would call to ask what was I doing and to inform me, what he was going to do next and next. He still is employed in one of the prominent set up in the country.

My, oh my! Was I not flattered and riding over the moon? As fast as the stallion came into my life, it took the same speed to disappear just disappeared……. Woooosh. I was dropped like a hot potato, a free fall!!...ripped off and died almost instantly. Day dreams were gone. Hopes were shattered, times stood still, heart broke to pieces, minds twirling and emotions erupted like volcanoes. Mama said it was just a teenage crush….he is too old for me and a married man….. 

Thank you mama for being there for me to share my sorrows.(hahahaha…..teenage sorrows)

Thank God, I managed well enough and after some weeks of brooding and lying low, I got up and put my head high, started walking tall again. So What???? I was lucky to escape the tyranny and "unseeing" episodes of this so called, gentle, caring and loving person. Beneath him was only God Knows what!

When I bumped into him many years later, I still could talk and walk together with him without any feelings of vengeance.  He was telling me about his family life. He ran into difficult times in his business too. Tears were in my eyes…. sad that I could not help him in his time of sorrow. BUT those days, when I ran into difficulties he was always around to help.

What a true friend indeed.


Thank you ……

Malaysia Nature Adventure Ramblings

Syed Alfandi Syed Mansor blog... 
Malaysia Nature Adventure Rambling, captured my heart, eyes and soul...find out how, why and when? 
Just visit his blog...flowers and wildlife   of great colours, shapes and sizes...
they are Allah's creations of beauty and the wonders of the world. 
Great photographer indeed. 
He has granted me the permission to blog his pictures.....some of them..

                                                        A tiny snake Speckle Bellied Keelbacktiny snake, Speckle Bellied Keelback...mo

"Would you sell the colors of your sunset and the fragrance
Of your flowers, and the passionate wonder of your forest
For a creed that will not let you dance?"on 

DAY 17 -DOES AGE REALLY MATTER?

Two years ago, he wasn't sure if he would ever find love again (at the age of 48??) the unconditional type of love from the female species he was wishing for.

They met in JB and she was a helper in one of the restaurant he frequented. 19 yrs old, sweet and young. Although she has most of the qualities that he was looking for in a woman, he tried his best to push her away in the first year of their friendship cum 'relationship', believing that it will never work, for only one reason she is far too young and he was just not ready for high-risk relationships.

But no matter how hard he tried, she kept coming back. He did wonder why couldn't she just walk away to save herself from all the hassles especially that she has a lot of other options within her own age group….. those without past baggage, excess fat or wrinkles.

OK, I may not have wrinkles yet, but I'm sure some will appear just a few years down the road! (hahahahaha…..kidding)

Anyway, he is now done with pushing and God has actually answered his prayers sooner than expected. SHE IS the unconditional love that he was waiting for.. She loves him for the person he really is, the good and the bad.  Although they are of different characters and backgrounds, they share similar principles on life which to me, is the most important thing for a relationship to survive. Trust is never a problem between them even with the age gap, she has gained his utmost respect.. .So, does age REALLY matter? I guess not. What really matters are honesty, sense of responsibility, trust and respect.

 And I am glad that I have found these…..ME? 

YOU WONDER IF ANYONE KNOWS.......

For the 24-96 hours, you wonder if the rest of the world know. When you are cut off from the rest of the world.....television, cell phones and electricity, you just wonder. But you get this feeling inside of you that, "If people really knew would they be coming in with food and helicopters and ambulances." Hahahaha.......kidding you !!!!


But when you look around ocean deep... the rest of the world does not seem urgent. So perhaps, they don't really know. But then again, your perspective of what is urgent is so skewed that it is impossible to even trust your own reality.


I am back....

DAY 16 – WHO ARE YOU?

                                                   he aint heavy........he's my brother

• Servant to the Almighty - Vegetarian - Sweetheart - Mother - Daughter - Sister - Friend - Colleague - Engineer - Optimist - Foodie - Neurotic - Dreamer - Lover - Swimmer - Dancer - Nature -
• I am a little bit of everything  into one.
• I am the dancing mermaid princes
• I am.....not Am. (hahahaha.....)

DAY15- HE LUVS ME.....HE LUVS ME NOT....

I understand just how difficult it is to do research and even more difficult to write an academic work.

It’s like a challenging rollercoaster rides as mom described of her own experience as many a times she was met with dead-end, frustration and sometimes too depressed to even talk about it with anyone and at  times, she would just shut everything down, wishing that she  didn't have to pursue it anymore but which she did successfully…

Everything else had to be sidelined, even things which were more important to her (the family) than her research. And she would ask herself if it was all worth it, whether it was really what she wanted. And she asked me the same question….”Is that what you  REALLY  want……?”

I FINALLY MADE MY DECISION AFTER weighing everything that needed to be weighed before deciding on whether to continue or not with it. It was a difficult decision to make initially, considering the substantial amount of work I have to put in and the considerable long time I have to spend on it. And of course, because whatever decision I made, it would result in a hard nut to crack situation. Implications that I have to face.
(Hahahaha….thinking about starting another…..hmm) 

But, frankly, it is an easier decision to make in letting it go, than to pursue with it.

I am at a stage any decision to further enhance my career is not really a necessity, but rather, a bonus….and if mom could do it…so could I.



And I know that I have made the right decision. 
DONT YOU THINK I CAME UP WITH A VERY CATCHY TITLE IRRELEVENT TO IT'S CONTENTS???

DAY14 – THE CHILD IN MY HEART......

Different time, date and year...a beautiful princess was welcomed to the world in the same hospital where 3 yrs later she lied again there seriously sick for 48 hours. I was by her side reading surah Yassin as she lied on the bed motionless….with tubes and wires all over her body.... 

She is no longer around now, she had returned to where she belong safe in the arm of her Creator….free from pain and suffering which she was forced to endure since birth. I was so shattered .to watch her in pain. I sensed that she tried hard to hang on to dear life…moving her eyes to the left and right sighting  both for her parents who were abroad….. longing to be hugged and kissed by them. On the fated night her heart failed her and I was asked to leave the room. before her doctor  rushed in. to her aid. Ten minutes later when they left the room I knew for once her next journey to meet God has began ….   God took her away that night…..that was the saddest moment of my life. I was nailed to the floor for seconds feeling lost and empty when both her parents suddenly appeared in front of me….teary. I was feeling so bitter and immediately made an exit…not a single tear I shed that night. I have done my part……the best I could for her in their absence..

Waking up at the crack of the dawn the next day, I found myself in tears, real tears that I have not shed for three years. They were flowing even during my prayer time. I got very emotional indeed. That was the most difficult moment of my life. I felt the pain in my heart…. she was gone forever… she left  me with fond memories of two happy years we shared.

May God bless you Adri.

Al-Fatihah….

DAY13 – I WANT THEM TO KNOW.......

………. but somehow I am missing him....And I mean REALLY missing him.

It's not as if I have never been away before. I am a seasoned traveller - often leaving home, usually for a month at any one time. And now being further away…..and for a longer time…..4 months !! Gulp... And, hey... I miss MY SON, MY BRO, MOM and PAP…
and the only explanation as to why it is that I'm feeling extra melancholy NOW is that I've been reading A DOCTOR IN THE HOUSE last night which stirred some really deep emotions in me...I guess there can never be enough time spent with our loved ones so please dont take our loved ones for granted thinking that they know we love them.

I guess sometimes we do not realize  how vital things in our lives which we see as trivial and  we choose not to  acknowledge, or linger too long or too much on the facts of life...that the inevitable will happen.

 We refuse to think beyond today or tomorrow and I guess sometimes we take a LOT of things for granted.

I realise that I'm not alone in being guilty having the kind of attitudes.

ehem...ehem...

I miss you giler.....
I giler miss you.....
I terribly miss you......

DAY12 – LEARNING TO LET GO...........

Mama call us  fabricant de bruit since we been the ones who like to make noise when we were home. Anyway we would be away on a school camping trip  and we were sure mom could have all the silence she wanted after we left. Actually we were supposed to join the programme ealier, but she didn't let us. Since it was made compulsory for all this time round, mom could not say "No". 

Initially mom was quite reluctant, but papa agreed to let us go and after our hundredth pleads and “pleases mama…" she gave in on one condition – we should keep an eye on each other.

The preparation for our first camping trip was quite an experience for mama I guess. And because BOTH of us were going, whatever in the school list we didn't have yet, mom bought those TWO of each. So…TWO Sleeping Bags, TWO types of Insect Repellants and a travelling toiletries set each.

And of course, mom must-bring items, Panadol tablets for kids, Kool Fever Patches, Mopiko and some food supplies  Chipsmore Cookies, Tiger Biscuits, Some Pringles, and  Chocolates for each of us (mom was worried we would starved)

So, everything was packed in Two BIG duffel bags  even our sleeping bags could fit in them.

When the school bell rang at 1:00p.m, we saw mom already waiting in the hall where the registration for the Camping Trip was to start  in half an hour, so we had lunch together first.

“ PLEASE check ALL the pockets, okay? Everything should be there okay?" I think mom must have said that at least TEN times besides reminded us to brush our teeth and say our prayer before we go to bed!

We hugged and kissed and bade her farewell. As we boarded the buses I could see mom kept on looking at us, smiling and waving, But, I could tell that she was sad to let us go.

And I said to myself... "Oh God. The camping site is only three hours drive from home and we are not leaving home for good mom….”.

...SOBS... :(

INDECOROUSLY ME???

<sub>Have you ever been in a situation where the more you work, the more work comes to you?

I have been experiencing that for the last two days…… My to-do list is now twice longer compared to when I first started work here. Hate it when he has to take over from me due to my silly mistakes. His cynical smiles is driving me nutts….AArrrggghhh…. I thought I was at par or better than him. Wishful thinking..desirous am I???</sub>

_{To do list is supposed to help me organize my thoughts and job with focus and put me in total control.}

_{But it's giving me the opposite effect early this morning... it made me more confused especially the sequence part of the job alone is driving me crazy!! Maybe to-do list is not meant for me anymore.....prefer my mental what to do list…..}

_{I feel more relax….}

DAY11 – MY MOMENTS OF DISTRESS.

I was having breakfast at that time.I was actually not too keen on  going out for breakfast since I was experiencing "tummy upsets" and a restless night. It was pain in the tummy without the urge to go to the toilet. Gassy and  cramping – Painful enough to make me whine, cringe and curl up in bed until morning with a hot water bottle pressed firmly on my stomach.

We were about to leave when suddenly I realized there was a small puddle of blood on the floor. And on my seat. A little check on my hiney revealed that I had a bloody spot on my jeans,
Panic set in.

I told my breakfast buddies about it and they were very quick to respond. A little converse exchanged on whether I have had my menses yet since my delivery nearly three months ago to which I replied a No. We decided that it was best to send me to the hospital right away to have this checked. Lilian took off her cardigan and wrapped it around my waist. Mimi was standing beside me holding my hand to walk me to the hospital 50meters away from where we were sitting, I was literally dripping blood trails and my head was slightly woozy. 

It was pretty gruesome, so much blood was lost - I could physically feel the gush of warm blood coming out in batches. They had to put a liner where I was sitting on as well as under my feet. I nearly fainted at the sight of so much blood… :(  I was  drenched in my own blood).

The doctor suspected that I was pregnant  They reconfirmed it  with a urine test and the ultrasound image showing there was a sac of blood in my uterus.It was in patches and I was in my early pregnancy. They proceeded to take a syringe-ful of blood for a Full Blood Count. They results came in as everything was normal. D&C procedure was scheduled that evening. Myself? I felt numb.( Takda perasaan.) It ran on auto-pilot right after….

 Suddenly I realized how things may not be OK. Things can so easily go wrong. It was only after a few seconds that it actually dawned on me that I have lost my baby( I didn’t know your presence…I am so sorry baby…). I could no longer hold back my tears. It came streaming down ... I was glad I did not have to go through that depressing moment alone. I had his shoulders  to keep me strong.

“Sayang...... this may be the best for you and the baby." he said.

I knew that.
Let me have a moment to myself to mourn for my loss, and I will be OK.

InsyaAllah….

WHERE DO WE DRAW THE LINE?

“ Women are reluctant to lodge complaints about sexual harassment in the workplace largely because of fear and embarrassment. Only 776 women made such complaints between 2000 and 2007. In 2009 another 104 women complained about sexual harassment”. 

I couldn’t help wondering if those numbers were the true representative of what’s happening in Malaysia or was it a case of under-reporting. Recently I read about a girl who had a shock of her life when she was asked to take off her top during an interview for an ‘assessment’ to know if she fits the citeria of looking ‘beautiful’ enough for the job, Obviously, since the incident was made the front page of local papers, she didn’t get the job and the interviewer ended up with a legal action instead. This is one example of sexual harassment, am sure all would agree.

Does verbal flirting among colleagues or between superiors  considered as sexual harassment? If not, where do we draw the line? What if the verbal flirting from your male colleague or boss becoming too frequent or too obvious leading to office gossips making you uncomfortable and miserable? And if the flirting leads to certain conditional favours like –go out dinner with me or I will reject your applied leaves- is that still acceptable or should it be brought upon a disciplinary board? 

And how about touching?

You have the rights to complain if a male colleague or boss start touching your bums or boobs, but how about usual acceptable gestures like a pat on the back? During one of my practical training (during my uni days) one of the managers in his fifties has a habit of patting backs..  not just to congratulate on a work well done, also during usual conversation. Some female staff found the habit annoying and they would keep a distance away from him but others found it perfectly alright since he is more like a father figure. Two different views. What do you think?

I have also come across this one happy-go-lucky engineer who love pinching female staff... a brutal way of saying hi! No complaint against him so far but I definitely will walk away whenever he enters the office because the pinches can sometimes be really painful and leave a blue mark on the arm. I personally don’t see this as an harassments but wonder if any other female staff would think otherwise

There is this one young engineer who is fully committed with his work but who is also a well-known ‘seducer’ among the female staff due to his skirt-chasing activities but no one really know for sure how many has fallen for his charms. Unlucky you, if you are his target (or it’s a fortune if sleeping with an engineer is in your wish lists!) he definitely won’t let you off easily! If this is the case, would you file a complaint or would you take it as a compliment (knowing that you’re desirable) and move along without making a big fuss out of it?

Hmmm..

Super Full Moon

March 16, 2011: Mark your calendar. On March 19th, a full Moon of rare size and beauty will rise in the east at sunset. It's a super "perigee moon"--the biggest in almost 20 years.
"The last full Moon so big and close to Earth occurred in March of 1993," says Geoff Chester of the US Naval Observatory in Washington DC. "I'd say it's worth a look."
Full Moons vary in size because of the oval shape of the Moon's orbit. It is an ellipse with one side (perigee) about 50,000 km closer to Earth than the other (apogee): diagram. Nearby perigee moons are about 14% bigger and 30% brighter than lesser moons that occur on the apogee side of the Moon's orbit.

Above: Perigee moons are as much as 14% wider and 30% brighter than lesser full Moons. [video]

"The full Moon of March 19th occurs less than one hour away from perigee--a near-perfect coincidence¹that happens only 18 years or so," adds Chester.
A perigee full Moon brings with it extra-high "perigean tides," but this is nothing to worry about, according to NOAA. In most places, lunar gravity at perigee pulls tide waters only a few centimeters (an inch or so) higher than usual. Local geography can amplify the effect to about 15 centimeters (six inches)--not exactly a great flood.

The Moon looks extra-big when it is beaming through foreground objects--a.k.a. "the Moon illusion."

Indeed, contrary to some reports circulating the Internet, perigee Moons do not trigger natural disasters. The "super moon" of March 1983, for instance, passed without incident. And an almost-super Moon in Dec. 2008 also proved harmless.
Okay, the Moon is 14% bigger than usual, but can you really tell the difference? It's tricky. There are no rulers floating in the sky to measure lunar diameters. Hanging high overhead with no reference points to provide a sense of scale, one full Moon can seem much like any other.
The best time to look is when the Moon is near the horizon. That is when illusion mixes with reality to produce a truly stunning view. For reasons not fully understood by astronomers or psychologists, low-hanging Moons look unnaturally large when they beam through trees, buildings and other foreground objects. On March 19th, why not let the "Moon illusion" amplify a full Moon that's extra-big to begin with? The swollen orb rising in the east at sunset may seem so nearby, you can almost reach out and touch it.
Don't bother. Even a super perigee Moon is still 356,577 km away. That is, it turns out, a distance of rare beauty.

Author: Dr. Tony Phillips | Credit: Science@NASA

More Information
1Footnote: Less-perfect perigee moons occur more often. In 2008, for instance, there was a full Moon four hours from perigee. Many observers thought that one looked great, so the one-hour perigee moon of 2011 should be a real crowd pleaser. Lunar Perigee and Apogee Calculator What are the "Perigean Spring Tides"? Do they cause coastal flooding? -- an explanation from NOAA

Truth about 'Supermoon'

Wednesday, March 9, 2011 11:20 PM

Truth About 'Supermoon': Will Quakes, Extreme Weather Hit Earth On March 19?

By IB Times Staff Reporter

Will there be chaos, a flurry of natural disasters and extreme weather on March 19 when the moon will come close to Earth? The full moon at lunar perigee, the closest approach during its orbit, can wreak havoc on Earth, according to astrologers. But the scientific community doesn't see reason for hiding under the table and stocking up supplies though it doesn’t rubbish the impact of the phenomenon altogether.

There are reports that the instances of perigee moon, termed by one astrologer as 'super moon', has triggered natural disasters before. Though there is no way to predict the course of events on March 19, what you will see for certain is a bigger moon on that day, which will light up the night sky from just 221,567 miles away.

Astrologer Richard Nolle says disasters like huge storms, earthquakes and volcanoes could strike earth on March 19 as a closer moon will exert more gravitational pull on earth.

Will there be greater seismic and volcanic activity on March 19, when the full moon will be very close to Earth?

"The question is not actually so crazy. In fact scientists have studied related scenarios for decades. Even under normal conditions, the moon is close enough to Earth to make its weighty presence felt: It causes the ebb and flow of the ocean tides," Space.com said in an article.

But the article quotes scientists as saying the impact of the lunar perigee will not assume disastrous proportions. "A lot of studies have been done on this kind of thing by USGS scientists
and others... They haven't found anything significant at all," John Bellini, a geophysicist at the U.S. Geological Survey, told the site.

But several websites are saying that historical evidence shows there is the likelihood of untoward weather events allied with the lunar perigee.

"Get ready for what could be moderate to severe weather patterns, increased seismic activity, tsunamis and more volcanic eruptions than normal," says website psychiccosmos.com.

This site also says extreme weather conditions have occurred during past instances of the supermoon phenomenon. According to it Hurricane Katrina, which happened in 2005, was the result of the supermoon phenomenon. The super moon occurred in 1955, 1974 and 1992, accompanied by extreme weather conditions.

Also, the earthquake in Indonesia which had a magnitude of 9.0 happened due to the super moon, the report says.

"This March may prove to be one of the worst months for severe weather and seismic activity yet this year," according to the site.

However, there is also the argument that every perigee moon in history hasn't caused natural disasters.

"The bottom line is, the upcoming supermoon won't cause a preponderance of earthquakes, although the idea isn't a crazy one," according to space.com.

DAY10 – A PICTURE TELLS ALL....

As I sat back watching clips of the tsunami and the disasters that came along with it I wondered if words could reflect the same emotion as you see them through pixs….

For individuals who have just survived a tragedy - all they can grasp at the moment is how much in life they have just lost. As realization sets in, memories of homes, families,livelihood, people and neighbors whom and which are all gone. Emotions are all over the place from being thankful to be alive to the realization of how much you have lost. You cry to yourself. You cry on the arms of shoulders of people around you and they cry too. You just want to cry.

You look around you there are not many people with familiar face left and you instinctively know that it is because they are gone. They didn't make it.

You heard voices and babies crying non-stop. When parents were in shock, the children are just confused and disrupted. What goes on dont make any sense to them. They want their normalcy, family whom and which they may not be able to have anymore,.They want sleep and yet when they look around and see adults crying they become confused. And so they just cry and cry and cry along.

After awhile, sitting in shock, you begin to wonder what else you could have done. Who you could save. You wanted to scream. Grabbed more people and run to safety. You feel helpless...

Night time is the most frightening moment and if you have some oil or laterns or candles to light it is a bonus but you have to use them sparingly, not knowing for sure if you will need them for hours or days to come. "How dark, really dark is." And your sense of hearing takes over from there onwards.. And what do you hear? No more the sound of traffic or human voices, Its dead quiet and pitch dark that you can't even see what is in front of you. Nothing moved. All you hear is the sound of water nearby and the rushing of waves. Your mind might play tricks on you, imagining the scariest thing that could possibly happen. You wonder if another wave is coming…

To the break of dawn......What you will witness is something few will ever experience in their life. There are hundreds or thousands of dead bodies.The bodies could be seen floating everywhere in the water Then the waves would come, and take them away. And then more bodies would appear. How do you react to seeing these dead bodies and religious views make you wonder about them too. And worse, the bodies might belong to your love ones you lost, then you are undecided. to look for them or stay way. If you stay away, what kind of respect are you showing otherwise what can you do.

Within hours (depends on the temperature), decay starts to set in and the disturbing smell which come from decaying plant life that was washed ashore, from dead fishes that were left behind by the wave on its return to the ocean. Smell from rotting food. animals and people from under t piles of rubble of crumbled buildings all around.You notice too there are sheet s of oil on the water and ground around you. Which then made your mind wonder, "Will that all start on fire?"
Then suddenly you become desperate to know about the people you are missing. You just hope - pray - that they are somewhere else. And then the rumors begin about the survivor lists. You say you will go find those lists. But then you sit down again, feeling paralyzed to do so.

You really aren't hungry. At least in your mind but your stomach begins to grumble. And you begin to wonder about food and water. Every bottle of water - every packet of food becomes an instant treasure. If a store has survived, it become a prize place for food and water but yet, when most, items like money and credit cards are gone how could you get them…….

Those are few emotions that I could visualize through picture and clips after 24 hours of tsunami. They are real memories and feelings and seeing the paces and destruction of the people on the coast North shores of Japan .And now, the realities of nuclear power plants melting down and the fear of the next destruction must be so high.

There are  fear, pain and agony and  these are what they likely  must have felt as i tried my best to see eye to eye.....

My prayer for Japan

I AM BACK TO WORK.

Over the last hours before boarding, mom  asked me, "Cant  they send a man for the expedition instead of you?"

I know  there are so many emotions running through her body ,head  and soul because  she  just sit there and stare after I told her I have to leave  for o/s in 12 hours. Likely in shock,  maybe she was thinking about the ”10000 missing” and a second wave  coming….

 II am better than most men mama furthermore I will be in the SE region thousands km away from Japan... I will swim safely  home in whatever circumstances……I am a mermaid mom. ..hahaha

She look straight into my eyes with her usual serious look (when I annoyed her) and  was not laughing..

Hmmmmmmm……..And lastly, just hug your loved ones tonight ! 
Love you mama....ehem ehem 2.

Tsunami in Japan (Flash news)

BBC Flashnews:

Japan govt confirms radiation leak at Fukushima Nuclear Plants.  Asian countries should take necessary precautions.  Remain indoors first 24hrs.  Close doors & windows.  Swab neck skin with betadine where thyroid area is, radiation hits thyroid first.  Take extra precaution, radiation may hit starting 4pm today.  Pls send to our loved ones.

Bye-bye Home

I’m boarding soon.

Leaving home  again.

Hope to return, Insya Allah.

DAY 9 – A PICTURE OF YOUR FAVORITE MEMORY

And in this crazy life and through these crazy times
It's you, it's you, you make me sing
You're every line, you're every word, you're everything
You're every song and I sing along
'Cause you're my everything

Hey …..little mermaid princess start dancing!!!!

DAY 8 - YOUR CURRENT RELATIONSHIP

"A happy relationship has in it all the pleasures of friendships, all the enjoyment of sense and reason - and indeed all the sweets of life" - Quoted

FIGURE IT OUT…………………

Exactly that :)

DAY 7 – THE LATEST WORLD NEWS WHICH UPSET YOU

Many things happened in the last few months made me tick into thinking how life can be so fragile and vulnerable...one morning you might be sipping coffee for breakfast with a friend yet the next day, you might be attending his funeral. You might be driving a Mercedes now but in the next day you probably struggle to even afford a decent meal. 

Flashing back, I couldn't decide whether I was better off in the last year or the year before but as we count our blessings being Malaysian living in peaceful Malaysia please pray for Japan since there is a warning for a 2nd Tsunami heading for her coast.

The devastating calamaties had few days passed, but the recovery and mourning for the Japenese have just begun. Now, more than ever, the Japanese  need our help and support to get through this crisis.

You don’t need to fly  to Japan to help. There are plenty of ways you can help online, whether it’s with your wallet or by using new technologies  with texts or even with virtual crops. Every little bit counts.

Through the weekend Japan in full force had battled to prevent a nuclear catastrophe in Fukushima radioactive leakage and to care for the millions without power or water. The huge earthquake and tsunami had likely killed more than 10,000 people. A badly wounded nation has seen the whole villages and towns wiped off  by a high rise wall of water, leaving in its wake an international humanitarian team into action..

Our time here is a loan and He has the power to take it away in one split second, material wealth, money, friends, education level, status, none of those, will matter anymore. Thank you Allah, for the reminder.

BLESSINGS IN DISGUISE

 Over the years, I began to believe there are good reasons behind everything that happened, for better things to come or lesson to be learned. An example, I didn't get to go to Kota Bharu for a family gathering March last year because I had to fly to Manila for a seminar and off I went. It was a good trip and a surprise meet with a long-known friend at the La Salle Uni which anchor a better relationship between us. A blessing in disguise.

2006-2008 were the years of healing wounds, bringing up a baby and striving for my studies. 2009-2010 were the years of discovering, adventures, holidays, a number of new added friends, a good job, and a new relationship. Yes, there were blocks here and there and we did have an action plan with hope to break through the barrier but fate did not favour us. I said goodbye with lots of tears in my eyes and a hole in my heart. I am sure, it was just another blessing in disguise for us both. Life must go on right Leodi?

I was supposed to go back to Paka but ended up having to pay RM1.3k for the car repairs in January 2010  which include 3 brand new tires, a set of new brakes and a few other things that I don't remember what. I postponed the Paka trip and the good thing is totally avoiding the end-of-holiday traffic madness. A blessing in disguise.

So I went outing with  Billi to Zoo Negara instead. Both of us got totally drenched up when one of the elephants sprayed a bucketful of water towards us with his trunk during an elephant show. How many of you can stand up and be proud that you've been 'showered' by an elephant.

A blessing in disguise.  During which I had a short few seconds with good reasons to hold him so close to my heart and make sure he felt safe in my arms. We have been absence from each other for more than a year and he was so awkward the first day we met. 

.DAY 6 – YOUR TRUE LOVE

I recently found love.. unexpectedly...such a pleasant surprise indeed.(Nice morning talk sayang.)

It is so beautiful…… When love comes knocking on your door especially when you weren’t looking for one…..it’s a blessing. But how would you know that it’s the real thing and not just an infatuation or lust-driven?  No one knows for sure….

Is this what u call true love?  When it fill-in the gap that you never notice it was there before, swamp you with sudden happiness you never imagine, sweep you off your feet and lift your spirit high, gives you the extra new energy for you to go on and change your perception positively as a person.

For me, if thinking of him could bring smiles to my face or if I feel that weird but wonderful knots in my stomach whenever he crosses my mind or my heart misses a beat whenever I hear his voice or when I could challenge and look straight in his eyes, then he's probably the one! He is definitely the one…age is not a barrier. 

How would you know for sure if he/she is your true love? I guess I found mine.

DAY 5 – YOUR FAVORITE PHOTOS FROM KILLER BATCH ALBUM...

Why do I focus on killer batch photo albums?

I met one of them online during World Cup season July last year. Football is not my kind of sport I enjoy watching.( I prefer tennis and hockey….hey! I was in the school team!!­ Remember??) He is an MU and Barcelona diehard fan but that did not stop us from sharing our time and thoughts together( I dont favour football, MU and Barce).

 We were more often online especially during my long hours of fieldwork which usually lasted a month for each expedition. Weeks later I was accepted by 2 more killerz and the trio shot their way up to top 3 of my 10 top friends in FB (Thanks Ja, Mahdi and Am). To top it all …..Min suspected Am cheated his way up because he was flanked both sides by his killer batch brosis….jokingly.Haaa

Sorry Min …I made you left !!

On the other hand, Killer Bropet was my pet in tagged when his worth was merely a few hundreds.(Am was my pet too ealier on) We did a very good job on him during their bizz trip to Ho Chi Min buying and selling him between us and Bropet is now worth 10xx figures compared to our 12xx. A long long way to go bro before u could marry us both off to each other !!!  He did emphasized  humorously in one of his  tagged msgs in which he wrote….”I will buy you both when I am rich enough and marry you both off to each other”.

 Hahahaha……What a big dream bro !!To one of my kinky remarks  he replied back ”I don’t even dare to tilt my head and look at his girl friend!!!…shhhhh.”  Hahaha…..such sweet brosis relationship and love for each other no doubt!!

This blogpost I dedicate to all killerz…not forgetting to mention Hanif and Haniza.

And two from non killer batch the one with rock image good looking Hafizar Hakimi and my sifu Syed Alfandi Syed Mansor….

If not because of you…I wouldn’t be blogging. Thanks guys !!

.DAY 4 – YOUR DREAM WEDDING

When mom and her friends are involved everything has to be  extravagant and  everyone must be invited since I am her only daughter. Not like my choice of a simple laid-back garden wedding as desired by yours truly since a kid…...

Hahaha…… and I must admit that if I could travel against time and reset it back to Sydney 2004 I would like a plain mini reception in addition to mama’s grand one held in Rapat Setia Ipoh Perak back then…..

An intimate one for only good friends and loved one approximately for 30-50 people held in my aunt Maya’s huge colonial house with a huge garden space. The guest will have to stay overnight. Hubbies  will be sleeping in sleeping bags under the sky wives and children will be sleeping in cozy rooms. (The ladies could crawl in  hubbies sleeping bags once  the children are all asleep…..ahhh….such romantic) Make sure you enter the right bag…girls!! 

Money is not an issue if it’s only a dream wedding….. Right ??. 

The decorations will be white with shades of blue and yellow. My favourite flowers, white and yellow roses will be everywhere and my bouquet will be made of them as well. I’d wear the prettiest body hugging  lace off the shoulder lace-up camisole top with handkerchief skirt  in white or Ivory with  black pearls necklace and earings. Hubby will wear white shirt and khakis pants, with peach gerbera pinned on the pocket. How’s that?

There will be rainbows colored balloons everywhere! Hanging on trees with   tiny twinkling lights at one corner….  for kids to play with each other with face paint, bubbles and coloring books  while their parents go crazy. Everyone must be in casual attire preferably in white and peach and barefooted…..…

We shall talk, eat, dance, play games, snapping candid shots. Food will be all sort of desert, assorted cupcakes, candies, macarons, fruit and cheese  cakes and pastries, chocolate fountant , ice creams, puddings, fruits-vege mixed salad and pastas. No flesh of animals because I am a vegeterian!  Since most of the food will be of high sugar content by the end of the night everyone will be  in full swing due to high lactose level in their blood system…..huhuhu

Scared of diabetic??  stay close to the FRUITS and VEGES servings then!!!

 “In dreams you lose your heartache, whatever you wish for you to keep.”

MY BufDAY WISHES

I turned 27 on the 5^th March, (five days ago… ) it's 3 years away from the big '3O' but what happened throughout that day made it one birthday that I won't easily forget. From the moment the clock struck midnight till late night that day, I was surprised/amazed with the countless numbers of  wishes  via smses, phone calls, emails, tagged and facebook I got. The most came from my tagged friends (Thank you taggers…uol really make my day..!! )

These people actually took some time out of their busy lives to the fact that they remembered one insignificant date out of 365 days to make me feel so blessed as I danced the whole day to the tune of the dancing mermaid princess I knew so well.….and to count them as family and friends.   Wow.!!!!

(To my Srikandi batch….thx gurls I am looking forward to our 27^th birthday bash.)
The most special sms came from a friend whom I have not seen for more than 10 years. What a good day to renew a long-lost friendship!  

When people asked that day what I wanted for this birthday I didn't once give a definite answer but now I figure my birthday wishes are... 

to have the best of health…….

to lead a peaceful life with the man I love….hahahaha.

It sounds old fashioned, but  it's my birthday wish!

(Thanks for the dinner Leodi… I guess I am still the same old corny Nina)
So, here's a toast for a brand new year ahead and may all my wishes come true...