Rambling at 4am...

After fifteen minutes of ice treatment, my eyes are less swollen. I badly need to get some sleep, but I can’t stop my mind from auto processing events of the last twenty four hours… last few months.

 All in one day!

God has many ways of showing his greatness in tiny shots and plots. I received another wedding invitation today. Six hours ago a friend’s mom had passed on. I am glad I was a shoulder to her.  

And I got two sms informing that one of my seniors from high school is battling with cancer. She is now in hospital under intensive care…

These are so many events that never fail to make me wonder about human ability to live and to survive besides…
wars and survival in Gaza…Syria….Egypt. 

And a new beginning with someone you once promise the rest of your life with but an end to another. 

A fight to continue living…….

And at the center of it all are families, friends, even enemies. At one point in time of your life you succeed to ignore what has happened to others as you became engrossed with your own. However, you became aware again and again, that you can’t survive without the rest of the human population.

Well, maybe not the entire humankind, but, at the very least, another person.

The Old Man and His Shoes

One day an old man boarded a bus. As he was going up the steps, one of his shoes slipped off. The door closed and the bus moved off so he was unable to retrieve it. The old man calmly took off his other shoe and threw it out of the window.

A young man on the bus saw what happened, and could not help going up to the old man and asking, “I noticed what you did, sir. Why did you throw out your other shoe?”

The old man promptly replied, “So that whoever finds them will be able to use them.”

The old man in the story understood a fundamental philosophy for life – do not hold on to something simply for the sake of possessing it or because you do not wish others to have it.

We lose things all the time. The loss may seem to us grievous and unjust initially, but loss only happens so that positive changes can occur in our lives. We should not always assume that losing something is bad, because if things do not shift, we’ll never become better people or experience better things. That’s not to say of course that we only lose “bad” things; it simply means that in order for us to mature emotionally and spiritually, and for us to contribute to the world, the interchange between loss and gain is necessary.

Like the old man in the story, we have to learn to let go. The world had decided that it was time for the old man to lose his shoe. Maybe this happened to add momentum to a series of events leading to a better pair of shoes for the old man. Maybe the search for another pair of shoes would lead the old man to a great benefactor. Maybe the world decided that someone else needed the shoes more.

Whatever the reason, we can’t avoid losing things. The old man understood this. One of his shoes had gone out of his reach. The remaining shoe would not have been much help to him, but it would be a cherished gift to a homeless person desperately in need of protection from the ground.

Hoarding possessions does nothing to make us or the world better. We all have to decide constantly if some things or people have run their course in our lives or would be better off with others. We then have to muster the courage to give them away.

WRITTEN BY EUGENE LOH
STORY OF UNKNOWN ORIGIN

Kinda corny....

 

(got this from a friend)

hmmmmmmm..........
What Love Actually Is

Why do we close our eyes when we sleep? When we cry?
When we imagine? When we kiss?
This is because the most beautiful things in the world are unseen.

We are all a little weird and life’s a little weird,
and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours,
we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness,
and call it love.

There are things that we never want to let go of,
people we never want to leave behind,
but keep in mind that letting go isn’t the end of the world,
it’s the beginning of a new life.

Happiness lies for those who cry, those who hurt,
those who have searched and those who have tried.
For only they can appreciate the importance of the people
who have touched their lives.

A great love?
It’s when you shed tears and still you care for him,
it’s when he ignores you and still you long for him.
It’s when he begins to love another and yet you still smile
and say I’m happy for you.

If love fails, set yourself free,
let your heart spread its wings and fly again.

Remember you may find love and lose it, but when love dies,
you never have to die with it.

The strongest people are not those who always win
but those who stand back up when they fall.

Somehow along the course of life,
you learn about yourself and realize
there should never be regrets,
only a lifelong appreciation of the choices you’ve made.

In love, very rarely do we win
but when love is true, even if you lose,
you still win just for having the tingle of loving someone
more than you love yourself.

There comes a time when we have to stop loving someone
not because that person has stopped loving us
but because we have found out
that they’d be happier if we let go.

It’s best to wait for the one you want,
than settle for one that’s available.
Best to wait for the one you love,
than one who is around.
Best to wait for the right one,
because life is too short to waste on just anyone.

Sometimes the one you love turns out to be
the one who hurts you the most,
and sometimes the friend who takes you into his arms
and cries when you cry
turns out to be the love you never knew you wanted.

Believe it or not

This ....from a friend..  'bout there's a man in every woman', this sure will brighten up our eyes ... k, gals .. enjoy this ... 

Believe it or not...Men are Everywhere!

Woman has Man in it;
Mrs. has Mr. in it

Female has Male in it;
She has He in it;
Madam has Adam in it;
No wonder men always want to be inside women!
Men were born between the legs of a woman, yet men spend
all their life and time trying to go back between the legs of
a woman....

Why?
BECAUSE THERE IS NO PLACE LIKE HOME

Okay, Okay, it all makes sense now...

I never looked at it this way before

Ever notice how all of women's problems start
with MEN?

MENtal illness
MENstrual cramps
MENtal breakdown
MENopause
GUYnecologist
AND ..
When we have REAL trouble, it's a
HISterectomy.

Amuk...

Rasa macam nak mengamuk ni.

Mana parang aku?

Manaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa?

Sight beyond sight...

I noticed a couple walking in when we were busy munching our breakfast. They were holding on closely to each other, each one holding a white walking stick. Obviously both were visibly impaired.

They found a table opposite us and the man blessed with a better eye sight adjusted the chair for her to sit on. Both husband and wife in their sixties I guess are regulars at the restaurant. She kept her dark glasses on and was seen whispering constantly to him as he lovingly responded back while caressing her hand.  

I felt so much an intruder as I could not take my eyes off them.

Then I looked around me, there were other couples too  and are younger, families and groups of friends sitting together but not talking to nor looking at each other, merely busy communicating and getting connected to whoever via their so called updated gadgets; whatsapp, sms, bbm and what’s not . But this old couple, though blind were looking at each other while talking. The husband would only gaze away from his wife when he was cutting and dicing the food on her plate for her and guided her hand to the cutlery as she ate her food.

For once I could’t cleaned up the food in my plate.  I was busy watching them enviously.  How beautiful is their way of communication.  How connected they are without their Samsung S3 or iPhone or whatever the latest gadget in the market that most are so proud of..  

I took a snap of them together but mysteriously, there was no trace of that picture I took..

Perhaps I was not supposed to intrude into their private space.

Perhaps they were not even there - but strangely others with me saw them too.  

Perhaps, the blind couple were there to make us see what we have lost.  

 I left with memories of the couple who have more sight and insight then most of us with the 2020 vision.

Dugaan

Aku yang kelukaan

 kecewa dalam kehampaan

tercalar ketabahan

terluntur keberanian….

Inginku hentikan langkah ini

Bagai tak mampu untukku teruskan

Tenggelam semangat juang

Lemah daya

Melangkah dalam payah

Namun jiwaku tenang

Membisik…

Inilah dugaan….

Salam Aidil Fitri..

As I expected, Eidul Fit here with my kids, Zoul and inlaws for the first time is the merriest compared to my three consecutive past Eid which were quieter……more peaceful but sad especially when i heard the ‘dendang perantau’ tunes in my head.

The price I paid when I signed the contract to work abroad….

Previous years when I was home with parents and siblings I usually try my best not to get involved in any raya cooking or even laying out the table. But for the past three years celebrating Eid abroad, I cooked most of the meal, except rendang (chicken or meat) and I laid the table as I wish myself.

Nobody tells me what to do or yell at my face when I don’t do things their way. So many complains ….I am not cut to be a good homemaker….I guess.

Eid has always been stressful, at least for me when I am celebrating with my family here in Malaysia.  Everything has to be perfect, curtains , furniture, walls and ceiling thoroughly cleaned, well trimmed compound…. [cough] Kesian bibikku…..

The plates have to shine and matching each other’s colors, patterns and shape [more cough] If there is a plate or bowl which did not match, mama would start yelling  [to the person who laid the table]. Time ni bibik da balik Indon…

I am not a perfectionist. I just don’t give a shit…because I am happy just to use whatever I have in whichever manner I wished. Furthermore I am not the type that will ogle at other’s home and at the stuff they have in their home when I paid them a visit during Eid.

I love family reunion and I love getting together with relatives but when people start bad talks and belittling each other I feel choked (lemas) And annoyed.

(I mean, didn’t you just salam and minta maaf tadi?)

Escaping those questions of “bila lagi?”(when are you getting married) and recently , “dah ada isi ke?” (When are you getting pregnant?) and when is the wedding reception? bla..bla.. I would ask, do you want to create a conversation or just trying to be cheeky with me?

(Well,  after yearssssss of asking the same questions, without thinking whether their questions might hurt my feelings)

Don’t turn purple when I gave you my version of cheekiness ….

 I am not very sweet and nice if you put in the wrong note!!.

 But how can I be in my good mood when I feel hot breath close to my neck every time ?

(Rileks rileks boleh tak? Inikan hari untuk bergembira and to celebrate so kenapa nak stress dan buat orang stress dengan soklan2 seperti itu?)

 I just don’t get it.

The pressure was off  the last three years I celebrated Eid overseas....

Salam Aidil fitri untuk semua…

Iftar.

Normally I am constantly feeling hungry, however hunger seemed instantly beaten down during Ramadhan and I am trimming two kg of unwanted fat a week. Fasting and performing Tarawikh throughout Ramadhan is an alternative way to lose weight. However it only works, if you don't clog up during iftar and to continue eating the entire night or glut at buffets all through the month.

Why do some people don't get hungry, exaggerating, but actually there are people who seem not easily getting hungry. They feel full all the time. But there are people who get hungry all the time, eats all the time and still are just skins and bones and they represent less than 0.001% (my own quote) of the world population, the runways and catwalk models.


Hunger is even more projected like ten folds of the usual after a workout but I am not that obsessed with my weight. If I were, I would exercise like crazy to maintain the ideal BMI of 50kg, like skin and bone revealing my abs, my ribs, pelvis and probably some internal organs as well. 

I’m writting about iftar with the family….

We were at Hadramawt Chulan Square for iftar yesterday. We arrived early since the traffic was clear. There were not many people and we didn’t have to queue to get our food and the place is spacious – a two storey restaurant.

The kids love hummus with bread but too bad they didn’t serve the one with mince mutton which is Sarah and Billi’s favourite  .

I had the vegan chickpea soup and another soup that tasted like some wheat porridge with tomato. I like both.

The main dish was mandy rice served with various lamb or chicken dish . And there was pasta. My advice, if you crave for pasta go to the Italian Restaurant, Middle East pasta is soft and bland and the one here is no exceptional.

There were  samosas (fried vegetable pastry) which suited my taste bud and yam potato balls with minced beef filling which Sarah can’t get enough. I tasted sample bits of each vegetable dish that were there.

The meatball coated with creamy colored gravy seems to be the most popular with the Abdullah family members. Zoul said it tasted sour like yogurt.

For desert- cream caramel for everyone. I had mahalbiya (Egyptian milk custard) and kheer (Indian rice pudding) which were extremely sweet but I manage to clean a serving, It was sinfully yummy despite the strong taste of rose water in the mahalbiya.

There were some cute crusty desert, some kid of pastry with dash of sweet tahini sauce and also the super sweet cakes.

With all these sweet things, don’t they get diabetes or something…..

The surau or musollah is on the second floor. I had to look after Adra while her mommy went up for solat but  I had to pass her to daddy because she was crying so hard and thank God she stopped crying when daddy fed her with cream caramel...

I wish I had more berbuka puasa session with the family...

(the last time we had iftar together was three years ago.)