Horoscope....

During my university years, I love poring over horoscopes columns, published either in newspaper or my favorite woman magazines.  I would look into those nonsensical things either alone or regularly with other girls and  we would laughed out loud and uttered those were nonsense when all the while deep in our heart we were wishing the good romantic stuff written were true for us.

Basic, most of us believed horoscope were all superstitious suits us as an entertainment stuffs only and the truth be told the first thing we flipped through when reading newspaper or magazines were the horoscope column then off to the comic strips. 

I wished I would meet my soul mate back then, the other half who will complement me and set my inner side on fire. (now... just typing soul mate make 1.1% of my brain rots)

So when we were dumped or were rejected by our boyfriends we would refer to our horoscopes, looked it over meticulously and declared to ourselves "Oh, see... the sign say we are not compatible."

After I got married, I never really care to look for these horoscopes column or eagerly read what the stars predict of my love life anymore. For better or worse, hard or easy, we still have to get through our life. Reading a paragraph of 'signs' that apply to 1/12 of the world would not help if you yourselves are not ready to face any arising problem tactfully.

Horoscope is nothing more than a diversion, giving you an impression that this person born under a specific dates is wrong or the right one for you.

But the weird thing for me is, ‘both’ of them fall under the same signs.

Give them the freedom of their own choice.

If and when I decided to take the risk of bringing another child into this world.

Sometimes we think we know best for our kids, and sometimes, in all earnestness, we make decisions we think best for them. Perhaps that is appropriate for a six year old, we know they are not yet capable of making up their own minds about school etc but I think once a child reaches puberty, there has to be a gradual process of letting go.

Granted, nearly most teenagers harbor dreams of being a famous rock singer or a movie star or professional football/tennis/golf player at that age and if that’s what they wanted to be, perhaps one could play the role of enlightening them about what the future really is about if abandon ones education.. But if that’s where their talent lies as parents give your support and why should they be stopped? At the same time, remind them not cross the religious boundaries of acceptable behavior.

I will allow my kids the freedom of choice but at the same time provide them guidance. If they ask for advice I will advice but I will not push them into any direction without their consent. The worst thing a parent can do is make the child live out their fallen dreams.

Almost every parent wants a doctor or may be an engineer in the family but not every child is cut out to make forays into medicine or physic/mathematics into engineering products because sometimes out of obedience, kids will do as told even with no interest of doing so. And nothing, really, is as miserable as doing something that you have no passion no matter how good you are at it.

 I might be the one bringing them into this world but they will grow up to be individuals in their own rights and as much as I will want to say I know best for them, but it is them that come in closest contact with the inner commotion of their own lives.

It’d be interesting to visit this posting some years after and see how good I have made on my word here.

My rambling hour....

I saw this short documentary about epidural.

If I ever get the chance to conceive again I think there is a big chance I would go for the epidural shot.

I mean let’s face it labor pain is the worst pain it’s like breaking so many of your bones at one go. Would you think I would scratch the nurses’ face or something when I am in extreme labor pain

I might…..(Billi my first born was trough C-sec surgery)

I continue watching and I started twitching in pain even it wasn’t my vertebral column that was been jab and some sort of tube been  embeded there.

I guess… I won’t really feel a slightest pain since I will be busy fighting labor pain but will it leave behind any ugly scar on my back due to the peephole made during inserting the tube?

Look at the picture above.

And some said they have a permanent back pain due to this shot a few months after delivery, Some said it’s a side effect,

Not that I am giving birth soon or anything but I hate discomfort including back pain. I don’t mind another C-sec surgery if I am pregnant by IVF for a triplet or even a quadruplets. An IVF for a sexy and fertile lady like… Me?

Note: IVF is a major treatment for infertility when other methods of other assisted reproductive measure have failed. 

Age is catching up and to have four kids, two years apart from one another means I would be in my forties (retired age from conceiving)

Back to epidural shot.

What if suddenly I got a hunchback and gradually it turn into a hump (like a camel) after the jab/shot

NO!!

What if the hump increases its size proportionate to weight gain?

It has never happened before but what if I am the first one to experience this?

NO. NO!!!!!!!!

Ahahahahaha me and my wild imagination!!!

....having no balls and a sick mind.

 

So you had a bad day and you think you want to kill someone just to make it seems better? 

He was commenting on the recent case of a parliamentary representative and the death of the woman whom was blown pieces using an explosive. The woman got herself into trouble because she looked like a super model. If she was less pretty, she might have survived the ordeal.

I was a little taken aback from the comment itself because instead of the woman being a victim she has suddenly become the cause of her own death.

Blaming her pretty looks and sexual appeals is not something that should even occur within our possible reason of actions. Yes… a pretty woman can get away with almost anything they want because MAN is weak when it comes to a pretty face.

That’s man being weak and not the woman being pretty. It’s like a parent who can't control their kid when he throws tantrums. Does that mean a kid is more in control than that of an adult?

Nope. It merely shows the adult does not have enough will power to do what is right. 

He was none too pleased with my answer so he argued that if the woman was less attractive she would not have gotten the attention of these men in the first place thus denying  the opportunity to cause her death.

Again he puts the victim to be a problem maker, as it is her looks that attracted trouble instead of the attacker whom acted with intent to cause harm, eventually her death. What is wrong with this picture I am seeing here? Why is this decent looking man constantly blaming her instead of the TWO armed males using excessive force that murdered her?. 

There are women who are NOT ATTRACTIVE like a seventy year grandmother or a seven year girl who has not even reach her puberty are victims of such terrible crimes. Are they so attractive that trouble comes seeking them as well? 

No sire… 

They are all victims of people who have little or no respect for life and no sense of morality at all. 

We might be the strongest now but will we be the strongest forever? Nature is telling us otherwise. 

There is always someone else who has a bigger stick. The difference, they are using it in proper manners.

If a man decides that he can do wrong because he lacks the will to control his own actions, then the man is worst than a beast in himself.....

.....having no balls and a sick mind.

Will I be a zombie?

 I choose my line of work because I like doing what I do and it is because I am a part of something I like to do, puts me at the top of the world. Of course you hear me whine about work, but I whine about other things as well;. Does that mean, I love other things in my life any less? No. It actually means I love everything about my life more so I let them flow into my heart and they are actually important enough for me to whine about them.

Between one job and another which is in the same field, I would choose the one which pays me better. Why? Because I am doing the same thing which I enjoy, why not get rewarded more for it?

There is no such thing as a "BAD" choice merely because it leads on a path that might or might not extend the journey needed to reach your goal.

What if one day, I suddenly no longer feel or care for the things I do? Will I be a zombie, a husk?  Where is the logic in there and will sanity binds? It troubles me that people actually do things they do with only the motivation of financial wealth. Their spiritual wealth melts like wax on a lit candle and finally dies because there is just no more to give. 

Start looking into yourself and check the fundamental needs that you crave for. Don't do it just for the money, do it because someone pays and you are willing and is happy to be paid to do it

 I go to work and I live for it..

Music....

My throat is still sore from the all night singing last night. It was Brian’s birthday…You won't believe the kind of repertoire that is shared among us when all of us know a song that was tuned through the speakers. It’s like, the song forms a common bond of familiarity among some of us who are strangers but suddenly develop an understanding that runs together through the familiar lyrics and melody and we all become like brothers and a sister.

And a room full of would be singers churning out tunes after tunes of modern pop, you get a sense of unity that no money can buy. 

Music no matter what language is able to pull all kinds of people together. Even if you are stone deaf without artistic gene, music can still make you want to just tap your feet on the ground.

A man can serenade his way into a woman's heart by just humming a love melody with his heart into it or else music will merely be noises that is meaningless to anyone.. 

So I spent nearly 6 hours singing in a room full of hunky males, the experience will become one of my awesome memories.

Thxs guys!!

Love is a verb, not a noun.

Love.....

Love is about giving. The unconditional pour of tenderness towards the one love, more of giving priority to their feeling, their thoughts and emotion. It’s NOT about ME. Nope, love is an action of giving, not receiving. Even if the one you love never loves you back, you don't stop loving them. You start loving them in a difference manner maybe, but you never stop. Of course there are those who are the lucky ones, when their love one will love them back. 

 Many have approach this love thing wrongly (my two cents) Before they even give their love, they expect their love to be "repaid". Now this is where all the mess begins. When you love does not mean others must compulsory love you back. It is not a business transaction where it is debited or credited into your account. Sometime it is a one way flow and that is how it will always be.

I read somewhere that love is a verb, not a noun. It is an action not an object.

 Love is a many splendor and one of them is the strength to love no matter what the consequences are.. True love is not about caging it in your heart, it is more of letting them soar the sky and allowing them to become all they can be. 

Yes, sometimes it hurts when you know you can't touch them anymore, but it really only serves to make you love them more. 

And…

I love you so….

Bon anniversaire!!!!! Bisous a tous Nous vous souhaitons une bonne santé et pleins d amour!!!!!!.

Blood Legacy

Which blood groups Edwards and Count Dracula belongs to...?

	Blood : O	Blood : A	Blood : B	Blood : AB
In a nutshell	Cannot stand people who hide the truth	Pessimistic and too sensitive	Cannot take orders easily	Romantic and sentimental
Basic Behavior	Make objectives clear	Careful about decision-making	Make decisions fast	Extremely practical
	Possess great deal of confidence	Make things clear in black and white	Can be flexible	Excellent in analyses
	Honest, optimistic and energetic	Care too much about social rules and standards	Do not care about rules	Give fair criticisms
			Respect scientific and practical findings	Cannot decide when it comes to important issues
Tolerance	Strength and endurance depend on their aim	High tolerance for physical or repetitive work	Maintain the longest interest in what they do	Try to be hard-working
	Give up easily if they find the job meaningless	Cannot take changes easily	Seem impatient	Tend to be impatient
		Lose interest in a hobby easily	Dislike repetitious work
How do they see their future and past?	Positive about the past, thus do not regret about the past	Try hard to forget the past	Hard to forget recent affairs, but able to forget past and memories	Sentimental about the past
	Seek financial stability for the future	Pessimistic about the future		More concern about the immediate problems than anything else
How do they express their emotions?	Usually stable and calm	Able to display cool outlook even though angry	Expressive	Sentimental
	Sensitive towards sincerity	Short-tempered	Cool and objective	Usually cool and steady, but can get upset with an immediate, unsolved problem
	Give frank, direct opinions	Take longer to heal a broken heart	Although joke a lot, could actually be very shy	Can get moody easily
		Sensitive to others' opinions	Change moods like the weather
			Cannot stop complaining when they are upset
How do they work?	Ability to concentrate vary from time to time, depending on aim	Perfectionist	Creative and possess new ideas	Able to handle a wide scope of jobs
	Mostly prefer to lead	Handle one thing at a time	Cannot differentiate between work and hobby	Value hard work
	Can overlook details	Work a line between work and personal affairs	Cannot take orders	Quick in understanding
		Highly responsible	Do not hesitate to introduce innovative changes and are not worried about theirs criticisms	Not highly responsible and unable to follow-up on a project until its completion
		Tend to choose hobbies which help them release stress

Happy birthday Brian..

My coworkers are gathering together celebrating the birthday of nice guy working with me, born sometime 30+ years ago today, so we are going to have a little singing party tonight

Tonight I will be torturing some poor soul with my vocal range. My vocal range is Alto…D5 and F3

Yes people, I shall be performing in some closed room terrorizing all known life form from land and sea those unfortunate enough to have hearing capability within my voice range. I had not held a microphone and sing my heart out for a long long time…

I hope I don’t suck too much. The only other place I have really enjoyed singing is the bathroom to the shower tap. It is just kind of easier for me to sing while the water is running with a kind of melody that rhyme my soul. It is so liberating.

Yeah, being wet and naked does wonders to my voice, my heart…. My soul.

So off I go, to KARAOKE tonight, the greatest man made invention since the vibrator come into being.

In my dreams

In my dreams....... 
Your head lay quietly upon a pillow, without you knowing I was staring at you with these loving eyes. I could spend hours just concentrating the contours of your face and the soft breeze you’re breathing. There are times in which I wonder what my life was before I met you.  Everything was just a dream before I was awaken by a lightning of love.

Thoughts cross my head so fast that I could never really catch what they are but I know all of them are about you or things that are related to you. They come and go without any indication of allowing me to participate in them, as if I was no longer important in that aspect, only that I am totally committed which is important. Nothing else matters.

Is it love? Or am I just going mental?

Who are you?

I said this to myself.

He is a kitten in bed.
A tiger when awake.
A cobra when angry.
And the meaning of life when I need him to be.

I think I am falling in love more and more, as the day passes. And it scares as much as it excites me at the same time. And I will have it no other way.

Rape is not ok..

 Men should have respect for women, just like how they would like to be respected. I do not think any man would like a dick to be stuffed up their asses, forcefully. Why would anyone else be different?

The world is screwed up. Humans have lost their humanity, some were blinded by religious hatred, some by political preferences........

Back then in the 70's, when mom was in her 20s, she used to hitchhike. People were nice and trustworthy. But that's the thing, it was an 'exception'. Nowadays, we would just shrug it off. It's became the rule, rather than the exception.

What can be even sadder than the women allowing the possibility of rape unto other women, indirectly, saying that it's ok to rape them too?

I am feeling rather depressed. :(

Mak Long....

Mom flew back to Terengganu even knowing that by the time she arrive, the funeral would have been over. Plane tickets were not available at such short notice due to Easter Hols..

Email I received at 12.06am:

Angah, Mak Long baru meninggal…

Al-Fatihah for Mak Long who despite losing the use of one hand at a very young age, lovingly cared for a very colic, screaming brat called Nina some 29 odd years ago.

Addendum: 0500 hrs. Read the Yasin, calmed myself down and trying to focus. Work.

Innalillah..

My late aunt, Mashrafah Mar lost the use of one of her arms at a very young age and  her disability become a good reason why she refused to settle down even though many had asked for her hand in marriage. Instead she lovingly took care of us her nephews and nieces. Her face lights up whenever we visited her, sad... our visits had became more and more infrequent as we grew older.

According to my cousin, who is on holiday in Terengganu, she passed away at approximately 4am (local time), having fallen ill and the clinic doctor suspected her kidneys were failing, but she was asked by the hospital to come back in mid-April for her regular check-up.

A week ago, apparently, she was wistfully talking of her nieces and nephews and how it had been a long time since she last saw me. ( I last saw her)

She suffered from various ailments, and I suppose I carry no guilt because I did ease her sufferings financially. My insistence that she come and live with mama which I believed she would be better cared for and was not made to work and does straining daily chores, went unheard as she refused to leave Terengganu.

I should be grateful she passed on peacefully. We will all return to the Almighty finally one day and coming to terms with a loss from 12,000 km may not be something new to me and altogether adds another page to the sad experience in my life.