Kristina my little angel
When I revisited my gynecologist I was given a shot of dexamethasone on my right butt, and
another same shot a few days later on my left. The purpose of the dexa jab is to accelerate maturation of fetal
lungs, decrease number of neonates with respiratory distress syndrome and
improves survival in preterm delivered neonates. Optimal gestational age for
use of dexa therapy is 31 to 34 weeks of pregnancy
The first
shot was pretty painful, but the second one I felt so much less pain. But what
I did not expect was this lethargy that engulfed me the entire weekend plus
headache, skin rash and depress.
It could be due to the side effect of the dexa or may be due to the uncontainable rapid multiple factor of the cancer cell zapping up all the nutrients I eagerly consumed for the sake of my unborn baby boy. I can never tell for sure of which causes the lethargy, but I was lying on the couch like I'm already on chemo treatment. I had to break a promise to my little girl that we would play with her color book.
My angle, Kristina has a lot to cope with at such a young age. She already understands what being sick means, because Mummy is always too tired or too sick to play with her. It was hard on me but I sense that sometimes she was depressed too.
It could be due to the side effect of the dexa or may be due to the uncontainable rapid multiple factor of the cancer cell zapping up all the nutrients I eagerly consumed for the sake of my unborn baby boy. I can never tell for sure of which causes the lethargy, but I was lying on the couch like I'm already on chemo treatment. I had to break a promise to my little girl that we would play with her color book.
My angle, Kristina has a lot to cope with at such a young age. She already understands what being sick means, because Mummy is always too tired or too sick to play with her. It was hard on me but I sense that sometimes she was depressed too.
She understands
that sometime the priority for papa to be with mommy and the nights papa has to
stay at the hospital, she was sad because she has to go to bed with no kiss from either of us. Mr. Hubby sees the importance that she shared her feelings
with him about me, about herself as it will help her feels loved especially
when most of her time was spend with her nanny at home when I stayed in hospital. She wanted to visit me
as much as she could as I wish I could be with her as much as I could too.
As she
softly touches the place where my left breast used to be, she would ask me
"Hurt here? Not hurt here?" as she moved her little cute fingers on my
reconstructed right breast. She knows too well that she is forbidden from asking me
to lift her up and carry her in my arms. As a mother I could not resist such
pleasure to be able to do it, so I did once a while lift her up and carry her anyway, especially when papa is not around.
How I wish for all these restrictions and limitations to be over soon so I could resume a normal life.
How I wish for all these restrictions and limitations to be over soon so I could resume a normal life.
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