Part eight: A fighter to the end

The Surgery

The doctor had clearly discussed with me what the operation is likely to involve, the benefits and risks, the type of anaesthetic and any available alternative treatments. I had never been so divided in my entire life when I was told that the GA could trigger an abortion.

The Anesthetist couldn't make that clearer to me but I signed the consent form anyway and I had agreed to undergo the planned operation two hours before they pushed me in the operation theater. But my Gynea was affirmative and positive that everything would go well. I distinctively remembered as I was laid down on the operating table, all sorts of wires and tubes connected to my hands and to my back then suddenly there was an inner voice calling out for me to bail out.

When the Anesthetist injected the drug that would put me to sleep, my entire self was screaming inside for everything to halt all at once thinking of the risks of losing the baby was suddenly becoming too much for me to bear. The moment I was awakened from the GA, the first thing that I did was to touch and hold on my tummy to feel if he was still there. Thank God my baby is safe

The first mastectomy I had four years ago, I woke up puking greenish, bitter slimy watery mucous but this time round it was more like waking up from a deep sleep and I immediately felt like a drink and feeling so hungry that I wanted something to eat straight away soon after. 

But the recovery was worse, with soreness enveloping my entire body. But the thought of my daughter Kristina brought the best out in me, and by the time dinner was served I could hold my left hand high above my head. Dr. Wilson chose just that moment to check on me and he was so impressed by my progress to recovery, but probably a bit more concerned when he quickly offered me painkillers, which I absolutely refused.  

I didn't take painkillers at all for this surgery. NOT ONE!

A nurse came and handed me a piece of paper and a pencil, for me to jot down the time each contraction occurs.

Me: "What contractions?" .
Nurse: "Your baby ".
Me: "Why? I don't feel any"

Nurse: "Really? But there were contractions during the op".

My heartbeats almost stopped all at once. I almost lost my baby during the surgery. The next 48 hours was hell on earth. The pain was forgotten. I kept obsessing about the other life inside of me, about this piece of heaven that I am carrying in me. He was as strong as I was. We both survived the surgery.

What more can I say….Allahuakhbar

Alhamdulillah