That is all that matters for her...

I got an email from my cousin who is still in primary….“Why is mama lonely when she has us? She is not love us anymore? Adik is still in primary and mama should first take care of Adik. Pesal mama nak kahwin?! ”

I seriously don’t know how to answer that.How do you explain something like this to a child?

The last time I spoke to her she told me that she hates the guy. Another sibling, she will be sitting for her SPM examination next year and she said if mom were to marry that guy, she would purposely fail her exam. The eldest son has not come home and refused to talk to his mom nearly half a year now. I told them that it is normal for them to feel and reacted that way but they need to understand, their mom may be lonely that’s why she decided to remarry.

My aunt, a 49 year old widow is getting married next week. She told my dad (her brother) that she wants to marry her old flame, a 65 year old man.

Her husband-to-be is an Indian convert. They planned to get married 25 years ago but my granddad was against the marriage because he was not a Muslim. So they split but the guy had never stopped loving her. However, he married another woman and my aunt too got married to another guy 20 years her senior. She was married to her husband (now deceased) only after my granddad had passed away because he did not like him either. My granddad was a very difficult man to please but I guess he wanted the best for his only daughter.

All of us thought she would never remarry after the death of her husband from a fatal heart-attack more than four years ago. She loves him and could not cope with his death, became distant from her children and fell into a state of depression. She gave up her job, did not want to meet anyone and continue with her life by watching lots of television back then. It took her nearly a year to bounce back to life.

Even knowing her children are against her decision, she still wants to go ahead with the akad nikah ceremony next week. Rarely a person gets a second chance to be with their first love. On one hand I can understand how she feels but on the other hand I can’t help but feel she’s making a big mistake. She does not care of what her kids think of her marrying that guy, as long as she can be with him that’s all that matters.

I seriously hope my aunt is doing the right thing.