Part One.....

For these past few days my being were back to the time when I was a little girl. Gathering up old memories, looking at old photos, digging up occurrence, camera-eyed on millions of how I was brought up. I must admit that being born as Muslim, I had not really focus much attention or study further on the teaching of Islam. I remember myself obediently act in accordance of what was told. I don’t really question why I had to do that and not do this. And I was constantly reminded if I am sinned I will be burnt in hell otherwise I will be a queen in Paradise.

In fact, there were times when I can’t really recall the 6 articles of faith (Iman), or probably get myself confused with the 5 pillars of Islam.

But now after being a typical Muslim for the past 28 years, I’ve started to realize HERE when Muslim are minority and the majority start questioning why SHOULD I DO THESE AND THAT and why can’t I do these and that, it is not enough by me answering “I followed them as in accordance to the teaching of Al-Quran and Sunnah”. It’s not mind challenging enough for most of them.

And the way we (org Melayu) live now to some extent are strongly based on cultural and traditional Malay belief which is so much influence by Hinduism which most of us  are aware of and gone were the days of the Malays saying “Biar mati anak jangan mati adat”. 

This post is going to be a little bit BOLD as I had never write a post that link with  any kind of religious belief before. Please get yourself prepared with what I will write because some might be offended, some might even label me MURTAD or even ask me to “mengucap semula”. I truly welcome your opinion and correct me if I am wrong.

The first time I khatam Al-Quran, when I was ten and my grandparents were like invited the whole village folks to this khatam ceremony held together with my elder brother but I must admit I didn’t even understand what I was reading in mastered “tajwid”.

And since then I helped the ustazah with those who are still struggling with the Mukaddam reading (many of them were older than me). But when I start living away from my family I never managed to finish reading the whole Quran. I always have gaps and I would just start reading it again from the beginning. So it never ends! Two years ago, I bought the translation of the Quran, the “tafsir” since I realized I don’t really understand what was written in the Quran because I don’t understand Arabic. I would like to learn the content of Al-Quran and how it could benefit me now and my life after.

Reading Quran is similar to cleaning the heart  from any spiritual sickness. It’s a purification process to human, Muslim in particular.

As much as I agree that reading Quran will make us feel closer to God but reading or probably reciting the Quran alone is not enough. Comparatively, it’s like completing reading the whole chapter of the Engineering Handbook without really understanding the content.

For instance, if I design a well (oil or gas), I must know the right calculation and prediction for the pressures of the formation and the fracture gradients expected before I can simply set my casing point. So, if I do not understand the whole pore pressure prediction process, how can I design a well that will not collapse nor burst and definitely will not be another Macondo well? (the B* well that raptured… **the Deepwater Horizon case). Similarly, how can you understand what Quran is trying to tell if you don’t really understand Arabic?

I’m slowly reading the tafsir. (not actually DIRECT translations). Most of the“tafsirs” are the interpretations of the translations. The words are translated in English and there will be more interpretations attached to each verse. The question here, who did the translations and who did the interpretations? Does it exactly reflect the exact meaning of the “verses”? 

During my schooldays I remembered during Kefahaman Bahasa Melayu (Comprehension) where we have to find “isi tersirat” in each sentence and different students would give different meanings to it. Then who can actually say our understanding and our interpretation is correct or wrong? Who can deny what we think or view? One must always remember that each of us sees things from different angle and we definitely have different views and opinions. Agree?

These make me realize that all four Mazhabs are based on interpretation. I’m curious. Why is Shafie deemed better than the other three, Hanbali, Maliki and Hanafi? And how did we arrive to the decision that Shafie is the one that we must follow, in Malaysia?  Can I follow Maliki, if I think it’s the best mazhab based on my reading, understanding, interpretation and views? Would that make me less a Muslim? Would my family or friends see me as weird and disown me?

It is better for me to fully understand Islam in whole. That is what I intend to do, research, obviously based on the Quran and Sunnah, rather than listening to what people think or the Majlis Fatwa thinks, or what Malays think. And most importantly, God is one, regardless of what Mazhab we follow, it all goes back to worship the one and only God.

Ya Allah....Guide us to the straight way......The Way of those on whom You have bestowed Your Grace, not (the way) of those who earned Your Anger (such as the Jews), nor of those who went astray (such as the Christians).

Amin.