When it's time, You just know it...

It’s been nearly 18 months ago, he stands nearly  six foot tall, well rounded body, walks with a hunch, greenish deep penetrating eyes he looks a bit like the good looking Edwards. (I hope he won't stumble upon this post walla!).

Opening up wells, oil rates, gas oil ratios, water cuts, sand amounts and tubing pressures are common topics typical drillers like him would usually talk about. We were paired twice and each time when I reported back that a new well was not flowing he would generously gave me an ear to ear smile while batting his long lashes eyes looking so handsome. .

Those days when the wells weren't behaving as they were supposed to, I would consult him and his advice and remedies would never failed me. It worked all the time. It was so easy to communicate with him.With his vast background experience in the production side of the industry he is a gem to the company he works for.

Only those with high capacity to endure waiting, delays, or provocation without becoming angry or upset will know how to appreciate the meaning of the word patience when dealing with stubborn wells. It teaches calmness and composure since we can only assume the well's conditions from it's never complete dataset, and we had to figure out how best to entice natural flow from the wells. 

I am mostly impatient, and  waiting agitates me and I am most fortunate to be mentored by someone as patience, experienced and as special as him… well wise, but also, life wise. 

On one of the trips back to shore, we were in the same boat. Usually when I am on a boat I love to stay at the outer deck, however hard the sun rays seemed to penetrate my skin. He was on deck too, smoking.He saw me and  took a seat beside me. In between the puffs we talked about life, about my company, the government and of course Leodi.

 “How old are you Nina?”

I told him my age. 

“Why aren’t you married yet? Most girls your age would have wanted to settle down and have children whenever possible. I was told you were always on a same project where he is the head”

I looked at him straight eyed, and asked back, “What if I don’t want to settle down with him?”

To which he chuckled. I’d say he was expecting me to say something about my relationship with Leodi…everyone assume we are having a concrete and tangible relationship but no one has directly asked me.  He drew in another puff, and said sagely, “In matters of the heart… you must not rush. Take your time babe. When the time comes which will definitly comes and it doesn’t matter if its right now or a long way down the road, when it’s time, you just know.”

Here I was, getting the pep talk I’d expected from my daddy, but hearing this one out in the middle of the ocean from this wise and experienced drilling master in a momentous time we shared together.

The sun was trying its best to burn a hole through my skin. There we sat together, he is so good looking and looks as sage as ever.

I missed that calm, handsome face. Those calm and assured ways when he talks is so comforting. I would have blown my top if others were to ask me personal life questions but with him, it was like talking to a good friend. And he’s solid. You can see the life experiences etched onto his weathered skin. Those calm, unassuming ways of his, it masks the severity of his words.

All I did was to nod as an acknowledgment to his statement,. I missed him, especially now. I need someone solid like him to drag me back to reality one that agrees it is worth the lifetime wait, instead of simply jumping on the wagon as all the other around seemed to be so interested in. That calm, unassuming way of his, it masks the severity of his words. No wonder he is still single.

Again, I miss him and I wish we could work on a project together. It would be good to work with a solid sounding old dude who’s far from being preachy. 

Shawal bakal datang lagi

Sudah lebih setengah bulan Ramadhan berlalu dan seperti tahun2 lepas waktu ini biasanya aku akan mula  tercari-cari alasan untuk menjawab soklan maut sedara mara makcik pakcik datuk nenek ‘kau bila nak kawen?’ selain sibuk membuat persiapan raya yang harus disiapkan. Waktu kenduri kawen sepupu di Kuantan baru2 ni  makcik, pakcik, kawan, sanak saudara dan jiran tetangga tanya pasal kawen. Waktu hari raya pun sama. (Bile aku nak kawen dgn Zul?)

But this year ...I wont be answering those ques......bagaimana dgn anda? Ini jawapan yg akan aku beri sekiranya aku berpeluang balik raya tahun ini.....

1.  Not enough money. – Aku sedang menabung untuk sambung buat Masters dan perlukan wang yg banyak.Lebih2 lagi bila teringat perbualan aku dgn mapa sebulan lebih yg lalu:

A few days after Kuantan Wedding.

Me :    Papa, I wanna do ES or maybe a second degree. 
Papa : Engineering Science ? Before you ever contemplating to have another certificate, you must get the RM 22.50 certificate. If not... no way!

Mama: I agree with your papa.

Me : *sigh*

Mas kawen di Johor RM 22.50 tp papa jgn lupe (sambil keluarkan kalkulator depan mama dan papa dan start buat kira kira belanja food, lodging, transportation, pakaian bla bla depan dorang bila aku masuk uni semula in AUD 250k ). Ade sape2 nak sponsor?  

Bile pakck makck atuk nenek tanya aku akan rekacipta sendiri hutang supaya nampak banyak hutang. Hutang kredit kad Platinum RM 1k sebulan, hutang kereta Calnina RM 3k sebulan untuk baki lagi 2 tahun, hutang beli kondo RM 2.5k sebulan untuk 20 tahun, hutang buat personal loan sebab  melancong RM 500 sebulan. Dan belum termasuk hutang budi lagi. Lantak.

Duit tu ade tapi tak cukup untuk nak kawen. Aku nak majlis paling grand sekali. Nak jadi Cindarella naik kete kuda ade a big pumpkin kat belakang, nak baju nikah design by Micheal Ong, nak baju bersanding design by Nizarman, pastu nak kawen kat hotel lima bintang, dekorasi dari pelamin, bilik sampai meja pengantin dengan tetamu semua nak fresh  yellow roses. Door gift untuk semua tetamu satu ipod touch . Persiapan kawen dari awal hingga akhir - mandi bunga kat spa, decor bilik tdo, mak andam, sure orang yang tanya tu cebik bibir dan terus turn off. Mama  nak aku kawen di Sydney  kan kan...

2.     Tak reti2 masak – Mak ngah kata “Kalau ko tak pandai masak takde orang nak nanti!”.

Jadi, gunakan alasan ini. Alasan ini memang padu.

Bila orang tanya  bila nak kawen, jawab: “Wehhhh aku nak guna dapur gas pun tak pandai . Masak nasik guna rice cooker tp kalau tetibe takde letrik?”

Lengkuas, daun kunyit, daun bawang, halia, ketumbar, jintan dan macam macam lagi semua aku belum kenalan lagi. Lelaki kan nak cari isteri yang pandai masak je. A’ah.

Belum bersedia – Hujah hujah yang lebih konkrit. Aku keje o/s paling lama enam bulan tak balik umah kalau cuti walaupun sebulan/ dua bulam nak tido berminggu2, kalau kawen sape nak uruskan rumah dan suami? Masak, basuh kain, lipat kain, kemas rumah. Aku tak pandai masak, dapat pulak suami cerewet yang tak mahu makan lauk recycle. Makan tengahari kena masak, makan malam nak lauk lain. Pastu mesti ade macam2 lauk, mampus aku. Bila masa aku nak rehat? Lebih2 lagi bulan puasa,  kena bangun sahur untuk masak?, masak lagi...... Grrrrr.

Kalau balik raya rumah mertua tak boleh balik raya lama lama jenuh  kena tolong masak rendang, lemang segala lauk pauk yang aku sendiri pun tak makan. Kena plak pakai baju sedondon  satu family Aku lebih suka custamized made especially design by Nizarman.. Belum kira duit raya lagi. Aku belum ade anak buah (anak tekak ade laaa...haha) Kalau la  anak buah suami 30 orang, anak sepupu, anak kawan2 . Rabak poket akuuuu.

Berdasarkan pemerhatian, kawan kawan aku yang dah kawen dan beranak pinak tak terurus terus jadi tak presentable, baju asal pakai, geloboh, warna dull, body tak jaga, lemak terkeluar sana sini. Kalau nak keluar kerja kena siapkan barang keperluan suami dulu laki plak pesyen kalau iron baju atau seluar, semua bucu nak tajam no double line, silap haribulan muka laki aku plak aku seterikakan sebab mengada-ngada. Hidup aku sendiri tak terurus macam mana nak uruskan hidup orang lain.

Kalau dah ade anak, bab tu aku jadi mengong.....Sape nak jaga? Mama selalu kena keje over sea dan papa? Ape alasan papa yea? Bole ke jaga anak bila mama enam bulan tak balik umah? Bab jadi papa dan mama ni yang paling rumit

3.    Suka kaum sejenis – Aku rasa alasan ni paling berkesan. Itu pun kalau aku tiba2 jadi berani nak bagi alasan ni . Kalau aku bagitau papa  aku suka kaum sejenis, penampar mesti naik ke muka aku

Yang sebenarnya belum masa lagi aku nak ada 'penyemak katil' atau menyemak atas katil orang laen.....

Macam rasa tak nak raya…

Ketika diberitahu aku akan berpuasa dan berhari raya di sini, hati mula terasa sedih dan emosi mula terasa bergolak, lebih2 lagi bila dapat email berbunyi "Kesian ko kena raya jauh dari kuarga kan? Cian Billi raya tanpa mamanya"

Ada jugak yg tulis email "abisla ko….., raya nanti nangis2 tak berlagu dan raung2 lagi la ingatkan Billi."

Kepada statement2 tersebut "Takpe, aku redha .. hati aku dah kering dan semakin kering”

 "Takde maknanya aku nak raung2" Kata2 tu memang nyakitkan hati rasa nak sepak terajang jer orang tu.

So here I am into my third day fasting (Tarikh mula berpuasa Jumaat 20/7/2012) and about to celebrate Aidil Fitri away from home kerana tugas. Kenapa aku cakap aku REDHA and aku berHATI KERING. To those yang tau kisah aku yang sering terpaksa berhari raya di perantauan, you will understand me for saying it out loud.

To those yang tak tau, mungkin korang akan rasa aku ni belagak dan sambil bercekak pinggang korang akan kata “Ko tunggu malam raya sok, gerenti   nangis punye". Bunyi memanglah aku agak arrogant.. hati kering bagai….. Mana ade manusia tak nangis kalau raya jauh dari family? Nak lagi kalau kena raya atas rig, masa tengah drilling..  Tapi, apa pun aku redha je dengan suratan takdir yang tertulis utk life aku ni.

Kalau betul aku kena raya atas rig, maknanya tak raya langsung. I'm pretty sure we are the only three Muslim on the rig. So far tengok crew mostly Danish, Swedish, a few Australian, Americans and Germans. I don’t see any local crew. And confirm I'm the only lady onboard the rig. “Limelight on me please” Hahaha. Nangis Britney nengok aku kan kan?

Oh sedikit info pasal penentuan tarikh puasa dan raya di sini. Diorang guna naked eyes untuk skodeng anak bulan, no binocular kalau guna juga nanti tak accurate atau kurang tepat untuk penentuan. Mazhab sini Hanafi ke Hambali tah (tak pasti) tapi diorang skodeng sampai betol2 nmpak anak bulan. Kalau tak nampak jugak sampai midnite, baru diorang declare bila tarikh mula puasa. Leodi dan Mich menunggu hingga lewat tengah malam tapi aku separuh jalan ….da kiok.

Pagi esoknya blur2 puasa ke  tidak puasa ke ni…

Emosi aku macam bad weather. Kejap o.k, kejap k.o. Semalam sebak dada menangis berjam-jam rindu…... Memang la ada kawan (dua org kawan jer yang sama2 dari Mal) yang nak bergurau senda dengan aku dengan soklan2 bodo, "Tahun ni ape agaknya ko rasa raya tanpa Billi,…….." Ntah soklan tu semacam sangat pedih je KURASAKAN..

Yela, this will be my very FIRST time beraya tanpa Billi. I will miss shoppingsakan dan rayasakan dgnnya, main mecum, kira duit raya, pegi open house sama2.

(Puasa2 camnii turun yard yang sungguh panas terik ni memang sangat2 mencabar. Hampir2 je nak terbuka puasa sebab dehydrated gile2.. huhu.. Syukur, Alhamdulillah aku berjaya tamatkan dugaan dengan jayanya! Eh, jaya ke? Emosi asyik nak marah je kat orang tu .. )

Salam Ramadhan dan selamat berpuasa...

Part FOUR

( This was sent to me by Aminuddin Shabidin in respond to my part one post)




SUBUH: Orang yang pertama mengerjakan sembahyang Subuh ialah Nabi Adam a.s., iaitu tatkala baginda keluar dari syurga lalu dihantar ke bumi. Perkara pertama yang dilihatnya ialah kegelapan Dan baginda berasa takut yang amat sangat. Apabila fajar Subuh telah keluar Nabi Adam a.s. Pun bersembahyang dua rakaat. Rakaat pertama :- Bersyukur baginda kerana terlepas dari kegelapan malam. Rakaat kedua :- Bersyukur baginda kerana siang telah menjelma.

ZOHOR: Orang yang pertama mengerjakan sembahyang Zohor ialah Nabi Ibrahim a.s.,iaitu tatkala Allah s.w.t. Telah memerintahkan padanya agar menyembelih anaknya Nabi Ismail a.s. Sedang seruan itu datangnya pada waktu tergelincir matahari, lalu sujudlah Nabi Ibrahim empat rakaat. Rakaat pertama :- Bersyukur bagi penebusan . Rakaat kedua :- Bersyukur kerana dibukakan dukacitanya Dan juga anaknya . Rakaat ketiga :- Bersyukur Dan bermohon akan keredhaan Allah. Rakaat keempat :- Bersyukur kerana korbannya digantikan dengan tebusan kibas.

ASAR: Orang yang pertama mengerjakan sembahyang Asar ialah Nabi Yunus a.s.,tatkala baginda dikeluarkan oleh Allah dari perut ikan nun. Ikan nun telah memuntahkan Nabi Yunus di tepi pantai sedang ketika itu telah masuk waktu Asar. Maka bersyukurlah Nabi Yunus lalu bersembahyang empat rakaat kerana baginda telah diselamatkan oleh Allah daripada 4 kegelapan iaitu: Rakaat pertama :- Kelam dengan kesalahan. Rakaat kedua :- Kelam dengan air laut . Rakaat ketiga :- Kelam dengan malam. Rakaat keempat :- Kelam dengan perut ikan Nun .

MAGHRIB: Orang yang pertama mengerjakan sembahyang Maghrib ialah Nabi Isa a.s.,tatkala baginda dikeluarkan oleh Allah dari kejahilan Dan kebodohan kaumnya, sedang waktu itu telah terbenamnya matahari. Bersyukurlah Nabi Isa lalu bersembahyang tiga rakaat kerana diselamatkan dari kejahilan tersebut, iaitu: Rakaat pertama :- Untuk menafikan ketuhanan selain daripada Allah yang Maha Esa. Rakaat kedua :- Untuk menafikan tuduhan Dan juga tohmahan ke atas ibunya Siti Mariam yang telah dituduh melakukan perbuatan sumbang. Rakaat ketiga :- Untuk meyakinkan kaumnya bahawa Tuhan itu hanya satu iaitu Allah jua, tiada dua atau tiga.

ISYAK: Orang yang pertama mengerjakan sembahyang Isyak ialah Nabi Musa a.s. Pada ketika itu Nabi Musa telah tersesat mencari jalan keluar dari negeri Madyan, sedang dalam dadanya penuh dengan perasaan dukacita. Allah lalu menghilangkan semua perasaan dukacitanya itu pada waktu Isyak yang akhir.Lalu sembahyanglah Nabi Musa empat rakaat sebagai tanda bersyukur. Rakaat pertama :- Dukacita terhadap isterinya. Rakaat kedua :- Dukacita terhadap saudaranya Nabi Harun. Rakaat ketiga :- Dukacita terhadap Firaun. Rakaat keempat :- Dukacita terhadap anak Firaun .

Part THREE

( This was sent to me by Aminuddin Shabidin in respond to my part one post)

Setiap peralihan waktu solat sebenarnya menunjukkan perubahan tenaga alam ini yang boleh diukur dan dicerap melalui perubahan warna alam.

Aku rasa fenomena perubahan warna alam adalah sesuatu yang tidak asing bagi mereka yang terlibat dalam bidang fotografi, betul tak?

Waktu Subuh

Sebagai contoh, pada waktu Subuh alam berada dalam spektrum warna biru muda yang bersamaan dengan frekuensi tiroid yang mempengaruhi sistem metabolisma tubuh.

Jadi warna biru muda atau waktu Subuh mempunyai rahsia berkaitan dengan penawar/rezeki dan komunikasi.

Mereka yang kerap tertinggal waktu Subuhnya ataupun terlewat secara berulang-ulang kali, lama kelamaan akan menghadapi masalah komunikasi dan rezeki.

Ini kerana tenaga alam iaitu biru muda tidak dapat diserap oleh tiroid yang mesti berlaku dalam keadaan roh dan jasad bercantum (keserentakan ruang dan masa) - dalam erti kata lain jaga daripada tidur.

Di sini juga dapat kita cungkil akan rahsia diperintahkan solat di awal waktu.

Bermulanya saja azan Subuh, tenaga alam pada waktu itu berada pada tahap optimum.

Tenaga inilah yang akan diserap oleh tubuh melalui konsep resonan pada waktu rukuk dan sujud.

Jadi mereka yang terlewat Subuhnya sebenar sudah mendapat tenaga yang tidak optimum lagi.

Waktu Zohor

Warna alam seterusnya berubah ke warna hijau (Isyraq & Dhuha) dan kemudian warna kuning menandakan masuknya waktu Zohor.

Spektrum warna pada waktu ini bersamaan dengan frekuensi perut dan hati yang berkaitan dengan sistem penghadaman.

Warna kuning ini mempunyai rahsia yang berkaitan dengan keceriaan.

Jadi mereka yang selalu ketinggalan atau terlewat Zuhurnya berulang-ulang kali dalam hidupnya akan menghadapi masalah di perut dan hilang sifat cerianya. Orang yang tengah sakit perut ceria tak?

Waktu Asar

Kemudian warna alam akan berubah kepada warna oren, iaitu masuknya waktu Asar di mana spektrum warna pada waktu ini bersamaan dengan frekuensi prostat, uterus, ovari dan testis yang merangkumi sistem reproduktif.

Rahsia warna oren ialah kreativiti.

Orang yang kerap tertinggal Asar akan hilang daya kreativitinya dan lebih malang lagi kalau di waktu Asar ni jasad dan roh seseorang ini terpisah (tidur la tu).

Dan jangan lupa, tenaga pada waktu Asar ni amat diperlukan oleh organ-organ reproduktif kita.

Waktu Magrib

Menjelang waktu Maghrib, alam berubah ke warna merah dan di waktu ini kita kerap dinasihatkan oleh orang-orang tua agar tidak berada di luar rumah.

Ini kerana spektrum warna pada waktu ini menghampiri frekuensi jin dan iblis (infra-red) dan ini bermakna jin dan iblis pada waktu ini amat bertenaga kerana mereka resonan dengan alam.

Mereka yang sedang dalam perjalanan juga seelok-eloknya berhenti dahulu pada waktu ini (solat Maghrib dulu la) kerana banyak interferens (pembelauan) berlaku pada waktu ini yang boleh mengelirukan mata kita.

Rahsia waktu Maghrib atau warna merah ialah keyakinan, pada frekuensi otot, saraf dan tulang.

Waktu Isyak

Apabila masuk waktu Isyak, alam berubah ke warna Indigo dan seterusnya memasuki fasa Kegelapan.

Waktu Isyak ini menyimpan rahsia ketenteraman dan kedamaian di mana frekuensinya bersamaan dengan sistem kawalan otak.

Mereka yang kerap ketinggalan Isyaknya akan selalu berada dalam kegelisahan.

Alam sekarang berada dalam Kegelapan dan sebetulnya, inilah waktu tidur dalam Islam.

Tidur pada waktu ini dipanggil tidur delta di mana keseluruhan sistem tubuh berada dalam kerehatan.

Was it about me.....? 

Finally I made it for three and a half months out of six since Nov last year until April this year. Never thought I would be stationed in a desert for that long in my life. Well, to others who have stayed there permanently, three and a half months is just a short period of time. Me? Remember? that was my first assignment on an African land and I'd been working non-stop throughout that six months period. No weekend, no off days, nothing, even after I came back each time from offshore, I was not allowed to have a break either….

 I SURVIVED!

I was working like the donkeys in town…. exceeding beyond my normal working limit and I was like being driven and nailed to the wall…seriously I feel like killing my boss or at least, a donkey. I even looked  like  a retarded monster.

Then I was on leave for a bit less than two months and now I’m assigned back here for another working period of six months. No more desert life I hope in between offshore this time round..

My assessment is scheduled in less than a week and I have yet to study. I feel like I’m being   sandwhiched in between two big boulders (preparing reading materials for the assessment and work). Problems is whenever I start reading, I'll end up snoring! I even fall asleep in the lounge (which never happened before).

It was Leodi who repeatedly tapping my shoulders that made me jumped wide eyed. All eyes were on me…..Pairs of blue, greenish, light and dark brown eyes were all on me!!. I gave them a sheepish grin while picking up a book I was reading ealier and quietly walked out from the lounge.  I heard a  murmur just as I was about to turn my back.There must be more than ten bewildered men in there.

Since he was speaking in Swedish I can’t figured what he was  saying.

Was it about me?

Here Comes The Lioness.....

Of all the times for a boat trip, why does it need to be at the crack of dawn? 5am!!!!!, Only half of my head will be there. I idly got up and my head suddenly  tilted a bit to the back fighting the sleepiness, I hurriedly got dressed, gobbled the breakfast pack as I made my way to the deck. I was struggling to keep my eyes open and my fingers tightened across my wide opened yawning mouth .

I dragged my gear alongside as I stumbled a few steps ahead. When I reached the deck there were already several guys in different coloured coveralls, Some continuing their slumber on the benches, some slowly munching on their breakfast packs, some chain smoking, some staring into nothingness.

I always felt out of place, always the only female in a bright yellow jumpsuit. I was always the first to check in, reporting my attendance and crossing the rickety board up the waiting crew boat and as I threw my gaze out to the open sea I had a feeling that this will be a rough ride.

Since I was the first to be on the crew boat, I made my way to the interior, got myself the front seat. Roughly more than 50 men can be transported at any one trip, and we’d only number up to 20 for this one. I stretched myself over a row of seats into slumberland. The other guys never bothered me as I was always seen together with two of my Mal male colleagues here.

It takes about a few minutes  before we hit the open sea, and  the soft rocking of the boat enticed me to close my eyes and  slipped into dreamland.

The sudden jerk of the boat jolted me back to reality. Dazed and dizzy, I looked out through the windows and lo and behold the sea looked mad! I felt like a lost bottle, bobbing furiously any which way the sea takes me. The breakfast that was downed hurriedly, inched dangerously up my esophagus, wanting to escape.

Oh boy, this is going to be a long, long ride.

As I tried to settle myself back to sleep again, I heard someone threw up. There goes one! I thought to myself. Again I concentrated on sleep, ignoring the sharp throbs in my forehead. After a while, the rocking of the boat made me go back to dreamland and I  literally see in the eye of my mind the boat was turning back to shore at record speed.

A few taps on my shoulders brought me back to reality. It was only a dream! And there before us is the huge rig looming, magnificent in its girth, dwarfing the crew boat we were in. The familiar grind and roaring of the machineries greeted us as the boat pulled along side the rig. Standing proud on the rig’s side is the platform where the wells are waiting for us to baby them.

I was wabbling like a duck to the open back of the boat, and saw the rig workers preparing to receive us. Transfer basket hooked onto the crane’s hook, safety officer ready to direct us up to the briefing room and the rig hands ready to ‘catch’ us if we prematurely land before the transfer basket. Thank God! I waved and smiled back to the familiar faces up on the rig. Nothing can rock the daylight out of this rig.

Someone hurriedly rushed and dived into a toilet unloading his stomach contents. Trying my best to ignore the sounds coming from the loo, I dragged my bags and gears to the waiting transfer basket and proceeded to board it with three other guys. We donned the work vest passed to us and hooked ourselves onto the basket.

Despite doing this quite a few times, that moment when we’re air borne my knees turned into jellylike and I had to will myself to stay still as we soar above the watery gap between the crew boat and the rig. I dare not looked below me, darkened and the waves were roaring angrily...

I thank God for His mercy as we landed safely on the tender’s deck.

And so starts another shift of being the lioness among the guys here.