Tender Tussle

Is there a woman in the world who never sigh: Oh Man! while rolling her eyes And is there a Man who never torn in despair and growled: Huh Woman!

......but in their sigh and growl there are always notes of affection between them.

What are the men’s complaints about us women in their life?

They say, a woman, is impossible to please and understand. She begs you to forget her but cried when you tried your best. She asks you to go out with others and runs amok if you do.

She wants you honest, to know the real you, naughty, past and all. God! if you do tell all, she will never let you hear the end of it.

She: Is that girl pretty?

If you agree, the storm will break and you will not know what hit you. She complains you never bring her little present but if you did she is convinced you have been unfaithful to her.

Tell her you lost your job, blown your savings sky high or you been sentence to prison, she will stand firmly by your side. But forget her birthday or the date of your first meeting, and she will throw your things out the window and go home to mama.

A woman wants consistant  reassurance that she is loved but when you feel a surge of  tenderness and reach out to express it, she would often say:

 Hey I have a headache. What a lousy day.

She comes to bed with cream plastered face and feels hurt not to see the ardent glow in your eyes.

She spends half the month’s marketing money on cheap sales and expect you  to praise her financial expertise.

She declares she loves you as you are, faults included but spends more of  her waking hours yakking to reform  you.

She has hundreds strategies...she hints, coaxes, grumbles, pouts, sulks even goes on strikes to get her ways.

You are helpless because you know she does it all for your sake. You are her world. Your only rival for her devotion is the squalling infant she swears is the spitting image of you....

AND the womens’ grouses against men in their life.....

A man, they say, is Natures eternal challenge to womankind. Just as she feels she is beginning to understand him. He changes completely and eludes her grasp.

He is born contrary. Chase him, and he runs for his life. Give him up for lost and he comes after you, all intensed and wild eyed.

He does whatever he likes, goes wherever he pleases and you must not question him. But try doing one percent of what he does and he flies into a jealous rage.

A man is always right. The more wrong he is the more important it is for you to say that he is right.

He must always feel he is the boss. The slightest argument from you and  he suspects you are trying to ‘wear his trousers’.

He tells you to be direct, as he is a reasonable creature, open minded and flexible but it’s those feminine wiles are your only hope for success.

He stomps into the house in muddy football boots and scatters cigarette ash on the new carpets but then yells at you and the kids because his special desk has been slightly moved.

You buy branded shirt and ties but the next time he takes you out he insists on wearing his old shirt. When you beg him to smoke less, he says he wants a short sweet life. He hates you to make a fuss but when he has a slight fever, he would be mortally wounded if you do not fuss over him

He is amorous at the oddest times, when you are busy cooking or minding the baby but try setting a romantic candlelit dinner with music, he falls a sleep in his chair.

He cranes his neck looking at girls in skimpy minis and plunging neckline but his woman must be decorously dressed ALWAYS.

He spends his time working, chasing hobby, gallwanting with his cronies or staring at the tv ignoring you completely but expect you ti light up the moment he looks at you.

He expects you to be his wife, sweetheart, friend, counselor, mother, sister, secretary and to switch from one role to another according to his moods.

I guess Men and Women were never meant to understand each other.

If ever they do, married life would lose its flavor.