Saturday, 2 November 2013

Part three: A fighter to the end..

I am pregnant !!!!

When my menses were on time the last three consecutive months I would bitch for a day or two and scream mercilessly at myself….my failure. Again I was so upset when my menses suddenly decided to show up early last month. Then I caught the sight of my 2-year-old on her bike laughing happily and frustration and anger went away. Bless her....I'll try again.

And the fifth months of trying…. I’M PREGNANT!!!!! I could see the double lines…..double lines…yeay!. I don’t care with what the old folk were saying about not to get too excited as it’s still too early to be 100% sure of positive outcome. Anyway I had to share the good news with my husband so I could get off the chores of washing the dishes and doing laundry but over his own excitement, he told my dad after I sternly warned him not to let anyone else know just yet.

Yes I am so blessed with another miracle! Alhamdulillah...

My first pregnancy more than two years ago was an endless miracle for me. I conceived when the doctors told me it’s not possible for me to have a child because chemo might have killed all the ovum and besides, my uterus is retroverted for unknown reasons.

If I get lucky there is a possibility of the ovum surviving but doctor advised, I should not get pregnant because of the high risk of recurrence. I was even given a letter for a termination, should I decided to terminate the pregnancy. But I excitedly went through full term and gave birth to a beautiful baby girl that means the world to me..

After two years I got greedy.

There is a 50% chance of me passing mutated gene to my children, regardless of gender. After I did my DNA test I was told, I have three choices to pick one from.
1. Be contented with an only child and not to have any more ideas of having more children
2. Adopt
3. To hell with science and have as many babies as I want and leave it to GOD.

Bravely and contented I chosen no 3 for several other reasons..
1. I do not want my daughter to feel alone for being the only child if I chose not to conceive. My husband can remarry and have more children but I want my daughter to have a brother or sister of the same parents.
2. I inherited cancer of the ovaries and so I need to conceive NOW, while they are still healthy.


I thought I could never get pregnant again because my oncologist told me that the single ovum that resulted in my daughter might be the only one that survived the high dose chemo I went through...


Alhamdulillah…..thank God for answering my prayer.

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