Part seven: A fighter to the end.

 

My Mastectomy.

When news of my oncoming mastectomy leaked to friends and staff, most looked at me with great pity, which irritated me to the moon. I hated the look on some of their faces each time they talk and looked at me. I see that as an insincere and sad facial gimmicks as they tried to look like they really care when in reality they really don't care a bit. Some were pure sympathetic, but for the wrong reasons.

For these few, they might feel better to come to work with their forehead written in bright colors, "Pity her not having any breast after this" or "Hubby will sure wander and very soon stray away with other younger chicks". What they don't understand is, I don't have that firm hard nails attachment to my breasts as a symbol of feminine or a source of my self-esteem.

I am not one of those who like to flaunt my cleavage, or wear tight hugging fitting t-shirts to show off the C cups. In fact revealing them were more of an embarrassment, a nuisance which I rather have without.

Living with cancer cell inside me, is like living with a time bomb ready to ignite and explode anytime unexpectedly. Unlike normal cell cancer cells do not stop reproducing after they have doubled 50 or 60 times. This means that a cancer cell will go on doubling. So one cell becomes 2, then 4, then 8, then 16…and will continue to increase up to billions of copies of the original cancerous cell.

Cancer cells can lose and detached themselves from their neighbor and this is how cancer cell spread to other parts of the body. As they do not carry on maturing, they can become even less mature over time and with the rapid reproducing, it is not surprising that more of the genetic information in the cell can become lost. So the cells become more and more primitive and tend to reproduce more quickly and even more haphazardly.

Each day, with the existing rapid multiplication factors, it's making me feels more like I am becoming a mutant X.

So I asked Ms Suina when could we get rid of these damn cells. She looked so relieved to see I am so eager to quicken my treatment. She has come across patients who wanted to delay treatment so they could visit some remote shamans who they believed could miraculously transfer the cancerous cells to chickens or to even white breads or by drinking lots of herbal tonic so widely advertised which was proven effective for some.

I don’t belief in such craps

So the surgery was scheduled in a week time. First I see the Gynae to ensure the baby I'm carrying is as ready for the surgery as I am, which he was. Next to the Lung Specialist, to get a lung function test done due to my asthma which is getting bad. I was put on the preventer and reliever due to bronchial asthma. Then off I went to the Anesthetist who assessed reports by the lung specialist and gynea before deciding on the proper GA.