It breaks my heart

I love to post on my FB wall whatever thing that crosses my head. Friends know how much of a ‘talker’ when I am online. I could make a great company when you are bored, but I can also talk you to death, boredom or till you go insane. It is something that I absolutely love to do and they should feel free to un friend me, friends and foes alike. That is my page and I shall post anything I like. If any of you don’t like to read it please go away…and don’t come back. Thank you. 

But I am not popular among my staff. I don’t ask them personal questions and they don’t small talk/gossip with me and I never have any problems with that. Outside work when I saw them I acknowledge them but I don’t go wave and stop to talk to them. The least I can do is ‘menjaga pandangan mata ku/, karang kalau aku overfriendly…lain pulak jadinya.

And because of this attitude I am perceive as fierce. serious and unapproachable. I scolded them but I don’t go crazy scolding them....  

Sometime…I talk to myself, by myself, against myself or have a complete monologue with myself. I do this when there was no one around but sometimes they caught me off guard mumbling or laughing out loud to myself. They got this bewildered look, whether I have gone off the deep end, fell down and now in the valley of insanity. 

‘From this moment onward I won't read your wall .. I won't post anything or any comment.. I sud have done it b4.. Since late february..’

 It breaks my heart.