What would be the perfect crime?

Sometimes, I imagine myself being in prison as one of the criminals, behind bars. And no, this has nothing to do with the series of Prison Break.

What is the difference between my life right now or a life in prison? What time do you have to wake up in prison I wonder……

 Definitely I will have more friends in prison (and enemies) more than what I have now since I will be cooped up in there for years. And the meals are constant compared now. Of course I might end up having to give my dessert to the head honcho (for protection bribe). Is there a head honcho

 And since there's nothing much to do in prison, except to get into fights and scheming to escape, I'll probably write more and finally manage to write a whole book.

Jeffrey Archer wrote 3 books while he was in prison. At least I could come up with one.

I could constantly work out and maintain my alluring waistline and occasionally get into scuffles and the occasional fights (battle helps to build character and hardened oneself). The best part is, I don't have to sleep alone. I'll have a cellmate. Hopefully she's not a lesbian.

Of course, the only thing lacking will be freedom.
But freedom can be overrated sometimes.

But then again, come to think of it, I won't be able to go for movies/shopping etc. anytime I want or eat whatever I want whenever I want wherever I want. That means no more cheesecake and ice cream in the middle of the night. No more watching my favourite TV shows  or computer games.

I can't call or stay online with any of my friends. No Facebooking, no blogging. I can't go out to the mall to check out new arrival of the latest fashion,  pedicure/manicure, sauna, facial, massage…….

And most of all, I can't ……hahahahaha not that I'm getting any right now anyway, which makes no difference after all. But at least being outside, the choice is always there.

Right now – I have no boyfriend.
Life in prison – No boys.

Okay, I need to get that thought out of my mind now!

Of course, I have to think of a way to get myself imprisoned but not by going around killing anyone or I would be sentence with the death penalty.

Maybe I can just shoplift or beat up any guy out there, at least I'll be behind bars for a maximum 2 years only. But come on, shoplifting? Beat a guy??

"What are you in here for, mate?" my new cellmate would ask.

"Err, shoplifting. Two bars of chocolate, to be exact".

Now, that won't leave a big impression, wouldn't it?
So tell me now, what would be the perfect crime?