Salam Aidilfitri. Maaf zahir dan batin.
When I write, I' know sometime I touched the hearts whom I love in a hurtful way unintended. I’m sorry for that and may the Nur of Ramadhan and Eid shine upon us, and we are all blessed with His love.
Syawal and Ramadhan have been a total different for me this year. I regretted for not enjoying Ramadhan tremendously as I used to mainly because I am so faraway from home.. However I hope I’m in the spirit and blessed air.
I realized there were times, when I wanted to say something but it came out wrong and things get bad because I was misunderstood. And there were times when I let my emotions rule and satuation become chaotic instead of plain sailing. There are times when I have to swallow the bitterness of my own making, accept the shortcomings only to realise the ever true meaning of being an imperfect human.
On a more positive note... I have been blessed, many, many times. And I am thankful for that. Alhamdulillah. And I hope it will continue to be so. There are still uncertainties, but then again, if we know what will happen next, we're not human. And there won’t be any element of surprise in our life. I wish, I pray and I hope everything will turn out for the better.
When I write, I' know sometime I touched the hearts whom I love in a hurtful way unintended. I’m sorry for that and may the Nur of Ramadhan and Eid shine upon us, and we are all blessed with His love.
Syawal and Ramadhan have been a total different for me this year. I regretted for not enjoying Ramadhan tremendously as I used to mainly because I am so faraway from home.. However I hope I’m in the spirit and blessed air.
I realized there were times, when I wanted to say something but it came out wrong and things get bad because I was misunderstood. And there were times when I let my emotions rule and satuation become chaotic instead of plain sailing. There are times when I have to swallow the bitterness of my own making, accept the shortcomings only to realise the ever true meaning of being an imperfect human.
On a more positive note... I have been blessed, many, many times. And I am thankful for that. Alhamdulillah. And I hope it will continue to be so. There are still uncertainties, but then again, if we know what will happen next, we're not human. And there won’t be any element of surprise in our life. I wish, I pray and I hope everything will turn out for the better.
I don't exactly know how to put what's in my mind now into words... Hmm...
But then, hey... I'm in Europe. And all the heart aches are back there in KL. Shouldn't be thinking about them until I get back, should I?
Life is all about compartmentalising, I guess. You put some aspect of your life in drawer A, the rest in drawer B. Others under other different drawers. Some would say, that is not living life fully. But I would say, it's a matter of maintaining sanity. Don't you think so?
Life is beautiful until you make it ugly. It's easy until you go down the difficult road. And why do we have to make choices that we know will actually leave us scarred in the end, anyway? What's the point? To get the experience? To enjoy it while it last?
Sometimes when I think back all the things that I chose to do, and the things that I'm doing, I wonder why am I such a blocked head. Bukan salah ibu mengandung and if there's anyone to blame, it's me.
I have a problem of letting go. And I aways have this secret hope that everything will turn out as I hope it will. Even knowingly it might not.
I was made happy all these while. Granted, the happiness is borrowed. But I intend to use it fully. And yes, I still hope that somehow or rather, one day, it can be mine fully. But then again, if it doesn't I will let it go. And hope God would give me the strength to untie and let it sail away.
There are no tears in my eyes. This is a realisation. An acceptance. Of foolishness. Of fate. Of knowledge. Of realism.
But then, hey... I'm in Europe. And all the heart aches are back there in KL. Shouldn't be thinking about them until I get back, should I?
Life is all about compartmentalising, I guess. You put some aspect of your life in drawer A, the rest in drawer B. Others under other different drawers. Some would say, that is not living life fully. But I would say, it's a matter of maintaining sanity. Don't you think so?
Life is beautiful until you make it ugly. It's easy until you go down the difficult road. And why do we have to make choices that we know will actually leave us scarred in the end, anyway? What's the point? To get the experience? To enjoy it while it last?
Sometimes when I think back all the things that I chose to do, and the things that I'm doing, I wonder why am I such a blocked head. Bukan salah ibu mengandung and if there's anyone to blame, it's me.
I have a problem of letting go. And I aways have this secret hope that everything will turn out as I hope it will. Even knowingly it might not.
I was made happy all these while. Granted, the happiness is borrowed. But I intend to use it fully. And yes, I still hope that somehow or rather, one day, it can be mine fully. But then again, if it doesn't I will let it go. And hope God would give me the strength to untie and let it sail away.
There are no tears in my eyes. This is a realisation. An acceptance. Of foolishness. Of fate. Of knowledge. Of realism.
Don't you sometimes feel burdened by the choices that you have to make? Wouldn't it be more peaceful and wonderful if we don't have to grow up? Stay in Neverland and be young and foolish always.
ReplyDeletenice statement here>>>>> hey... I'm in Europe. And all the heart aches are back there in KL. Shouldn't be thinking about them until I get back, should I?
ReplyDeletenow i realised it... hmmm...dats why u never fail to act like nothing ever broken... it wasnt u dat having the heart ache...why sud u care...right??? bravo... your trainning do u great......