I was having breakfast at that time.I was actually not too keen on going out for breakfast since I was experiencing "tummy upsets" and a restless night. It was pain in the tummy without the urge to go to the toilet. Gassy and cramping – Painful enough to make me whine, cringe and curl up in bed until morning with a hot water bottle pressed firmly on my stomach.
We were about to leave when suddenly I realized there was a small puddle of blood on the floor. And on my seat. A little check on my hiney revealed that I had a bloody spot on my jeans,
Panic set in.
I told my breakfast buddies about it and they were very quick to respond. A little converse exchanged on whether I have had my menses yet since my delivery nearly three months ago to which I replied a No. We decided that it was best to send me to the hospital right away to have this checked. Lilian took off her cardigan and wrapped it around my waist. Mimi was standing beside me holding my hand to walk me to the hospital 50meters away from where we were sitting, I was literally dripping blood trails and my head was slightly woozy.
It was pretty gruesome, so much blood was lost - I could physically feel the gush of warm blood coming out in batches. They had to put a liner where I was sitting on as well as under my feet. I nearly fainted at the sight of so much blood… :( I was drenched in my own blood).
The doctor suspected that I was pregnant They reconfirmed it with a urine test and the ultrasound image showing there was a sac of blood in my uterus.It was in patches and I was in my early pregnancy. They proceeded to take a syringe-ful of blood for a Full Blood Count. They results came in as everything was normal. D&C procedure was scheduled that evening. Myself? I felt numb.( Takda perasaan.) It ran on auto-pilot right after….
Suddenly I realized how things may not be OK. Things can so easily go wrong. It was only after a few seconds that it actually dawned on me that I have lost my baby( I didn’t know your presence…I am so sorry baby…). I could no longer hold back my tears. It came streaming down ... I was glad I did not have to go through that depressing moment alone. I had his shoulders to keep me strong.
“Sayang...... this may be the best for you and the baby." he said.
We were about to leave when suddenly I realized there was a small puddle of blood on the floor. And on my seat. A little check on my hiney revealed that I had a bloody spot on my jeans,
Panic set in.
I told my breakfast buddies about it and they were very quick to respond. A little converse exchanged on whether I have had my menses yet since my delivery nearly three months ago to which I replied a No. We decided that it was best to send me to the hospital right away to have this checked. Lilian took off her cardigan and wrapped it around my waist. Mimi was standing beside me holding my hand to walk me to the hospital 50meters away from where we were sitting, I was literally dripping blood trails and my head was slightly woozy.
It was pretty gruesome, so much blood was lost - I could physically feel the gush of warm blood coming out in batches. They had to put a liner where I was sitting on as well as under my feet. I nearly fainted at the sight of so much blood… :( I was drenched in my own blood).
The doctor suspected that I was pregnant They reconfirmed it with a urine test and the ultrasound image showing there was a sac of blood in my uterus.It was in patches and I was in my early pregnancy. They proceeded to take a syringe-ful of blood for a Full Blood Count. They results came in as everything was normal. D&C procedure was scheduled that evening. Myself? I felt numb.( Takda perasaan.) It ran on auto-pilot right after….
Suddenly I realized how things may not be OK. Things can so easily go wrong. It was only after a few seconds that it actually dawned on me that I have lost my baby( I didn’t know your presence…I am so sorry baby…). I could no longer hold back my tears. It came streaming down ... I was glad I did not have to go through that depressing moment alone. I had his shoulders to keep me strong.
“Sayang...... this may be the best for you and the baby." he said.
I knew that.
Let me have a moment to myself to mourn for my loss, and I will be OK.
InsyaAllah….Let me have a moment to myself to mourn for my loss, and I will be OK.
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