My chaotic brain....

 There are too many things on my mind and I'm not sure which one to concentrate on anymore. 

 I have been thinking too much lately……plain thinking, planning, jumping from one subject to another, A few minutes ago I thought of going to the Mall, even before I finish with my mental what to buy note, I started thinking of  my mom's birthday, Billi’s pair of shoes and packing Sarah’s clothes…she is leaving for Madrid.I don't  need a written to-do list anymore.. everything is here inside my brain. If I realized I could stretch my brain capability this much  I would have been the best student back then!   hehe.. 

I guess the change in my brain activities is due to my own emotional status, I hate to admit it, I know that at this point of life, I'm so unsure of which path to choose. At one moment I was warming up to the prospect of having my own property in KL or maybe Alor Star and settle down yet, at another, I found myself longing for the trip back to Sydney to continue my studies. One moment I had the urge to just drop everything and go travelling around the world but moments later, I felt so strongly on staying put and building up my professional career here in the UK. What is happening to me? Am I a bipolar schizoprenic…….I certainly hope not!! 

Now I feel like I'm 18 again.. So many choices, so many possibilities.. ….. which one?  All these uncertainties actually excite me. Scary sometimes but exciting still. I guess the vulnerable and confused state that I am in now is actually making me feel alive again. Maybe being lost and confused is what I need to motivate me to venture into new territories... to discover the real me.