There's someone waiting ..

Badaling Great Wall

 It does not matter how many times you would fall in love. When you meet a guy, you will always wonder whether that guy could be the love of your life. There are times you get scared  because you find it very difficult to trust him fully. Should you let him into your life and gradually build the trust? It all will depends on how the guy reassures you that the relationship could work out and how he can “fix you” after your heart been broken. Some broken hearts are fixable but some people with severed heart break will build great wall as high as the Great Wall of China around them..

Being in love is a great feeling and I do believe there is that one person out there waiting for you.

Where is my brain...?

If I could fly you will see me coasting through the blue sky, with the wind beneath me. My long messy hair scattering behind me as to defy the laws of physics and gravity and E=mc2. Up…up …and away I fly….

And then I will shoot upwards and see everything disappearing below me. Higher and higher I fly, where the air becomes thinner and the pressure lower and my nose starts to bleed,  tears of blood start trickling down my cheeks. I will pause in midair, take a long good look around, and let myself fall.

No, not gently, but in a rush of wind, with clouds passing by me like a waft of smoke, where potential energy turns into kinetic and I will reach terminal velocity in a matter of seconds.

In a splits of seconds.

"Honey, I'm back!" I would tell him 

If only I could locate where my brain is. J

I am a morning person

I have always been a morning person and during my school years, it was 6am. Then there was university years (which was considerably later than 6am) and now working years my morning will start at 4 am.. I can't wait for the day that I am my own boss, and I can start work whenever I want.
I think I never seem to get enough sleep especially those nights when I am on call.

Of course, the funny thing about sleeping is the moment you're on bed a thousand thoughts pass through your mind and swirling in circles like this particular train toy I once saw in Toys'R'us where the train went up and around a mountain. The tracks swirled around and around, and at the top there was this cute little station, with cute little people waiting for the train to arrive. And wouldn't you know it? Once the train reached the station, it didn't stop at all. Those poor little cute people!

  I would love to own that train set….

On certain nights, I can toss and turn in bed before my mind goes wandering off to a distant planet. Therefore, to avoid all the unnecessary wild imaginations, I prefer to hit the bed when I am really tired.

But don't you find it amazing how sometimes your brain can conjure up so many thoughts in a split second and finally end up with splitting headache? The mind will be  on the utmost alert when I'm trying to shut it off. But then again, you don't really shut it off totally  because sometime you will end up with a dream, your body is asleep but your mind is wandering.

But that is another tale to tell.

Hot or cold shower....

There are two things that I really hate but I'm still doing them until now. I hate waking up early in the morning (4.00am-5am). And I hate the cold shower that follows after that. Of course the shower part is optional, but I need the jolt of jet cold water on my body and face to fully bring me to the world of the living.

Still, if I have the money, I would not install one of those hot showers gizmo, so I could continue to enjoy that feeling of fully bringing me back to the world of the living.

A Lotus Life

The lotus is a symbol of purity. Its roots are in the mud, but the flower remains above dirty water.
 Live a lotus life. Be in the world, but unaffected by impurities.

What would be the perfect crime?

Sometimes, I imagine myself being in prison as one of the criminals, behind bars. And no, this has nothing to do with the series of Prison Break.

What is the difference between my life right now or a life in prison? What time do you have to wake up in prison I wonder……

 Definitely I will have more friends in prison (and enemies) more than what I have now since I will be cooped up in there for years. And the meals are constant compared now. Of course I might end up having to give my dessert to the head honcho (for protection bribe). Is there a head honcho

 And since there's nothing much to do in prison, except to get into fights and scheming to escape, I'll probably write more and finally manage to write a whole book.

Jeffrey Archer wrote 3 books while he was in prison. At least I could come up with one.

I could constantly work out and maintain my alluring waistline and occasionally get into scuffles and the occasional fights (battle helps to build character and hardened oneself). The best part is, I don't have to sleep alone. I'll have a cellmate. Hopefully she's not a lesbian.

Of course, the only thing lacking will be freedom.
But freedom can be overrated sometimes.

But then again, come to think of it, I won't be able to go for movies/shopping etc. anytime I want or eat whatever I want whenever I want wherever I want. That means no more cheesecake and ice cream in the middle of the night. No more watching my favourite TV shows  or computer games.

I can't call or stay online with any of my friends. No Facebooking, no blogging. I can't go out to the mall to check out new arrival of the latest fashion,  pedicure/manicure, sauna, facial, massage…….

And most of all, I can't ……hahahahaha not that I'm getting any right now anyway, which makes no difference after all. But at least being outside, the choice is always there.

Right now – I have no boyfriend.
Life in prison – No boys.

Okay, I need to get that thought out of my mind now!

Of course, I have to think of a way to get myself imprisoned but not by going around killing anyone or I would be sentence with the death penalty.

Maybe I can just shoplift or beat up any guy out there, at least I'll be behind bars for a maximum 2 years only. But come on, shoplifting? Beat a guy??

"What are you in here for, mate?" my new cellmate would ask.

"Err, shoplifting. Two bars of chocolate, to be exact".

Now, that won't leave a big impression, wouldn't it?
So tell me now, what would be the perfect crime?

To the love that never was....

"It's okay. You don't have to answer me. I understand", I lied. 

In truth, I wanted him to love me so much that it hurts. 

I didn't understand. I can never understand.


Hurting him I will not. Even if it means shattering my heart into a million pieces.

And I shall carry the shards of my broken heart with me till the end of my life. 
Let it be a reminder, to the love that never was......