It hurts.

My mind being a bit numb now, couldn't think what to do. It's just like an auto flow of memory that keeps on playing again and again in my head but all these reminded me of the masks that I'm wearing or more like I have to wear each day. 

I am putting up a brave, happy, nothing happen and all sorts of face masks to hide the deepest feeling inside me. It's not the sad, pity me or that sort of face mask. But then again, emotion shows till blue in the face through penetrating look deep into the eyes. We can't lie what we are actually feeling deep inside if someone were to look at you straight in the eyes, Eventually he/she will tend to ask, tell me what happen. 

You'll not hesitate to spill everything out even jeopardizing your dignity to your best friend by telling the whole story from A to Z. And being a good listener, she/he will try to help you in anyway.   

In my case, I would rather keep it silence. I avoid eye contact constantly, avoiding casual talk with everyone as I don't think I'm ready enough to tell the truth. Nothing but the whole truth. Until then I will keep this a silence,  

I'm not expecting you to understand what I'm writing. Its just a reminder  of what I am going through now. 

And yes..........

It hurts.