Depression?

To those who were online with me at wee hour this morning (FB -10^th July)  would realize that I was really depressed, so sad, so down, and the most annoying part was that I was feeling that way for no apparent reason. “Some things don’t need a reason…” –  Zul.

But I guess there are actually a few explanations to my sudden plunging of emotions. I won’t go too deep of those reasons but I think some of the contributions were how I had been crying  counting down to the days when …… So, I was quite grumpy and really down.  And the thought of going back to an old habit (which I won’t tell what) flashed through my mind for a fraction of a second  but I quickly brushed the thought aside.

I sang my heart out…..Yes, that’s what I usually do when I’m sad/bored (remember that one time in Kertih) I took my car; with my loud music blaring to the maximum volume my ears could take (listening to Celine Dion CD.) I drove around and around until  I finally had no idea where else to go, I called Zul and we went up the hill to a place where Zul and I love to go to before…and obviously going there alone was not that much fun. But being there with him reminded me of the “problems” we used to have back then.

These so-called problems are only in my head. They’re not real and  after months, those “problems” seem so insignificant, so petty. Almost immediately I am back to my present situation. I am a huge believer that time heals everything. And I guess, give it time, whatever “problems” I am having now will seem petty one day…

 I listened over and over again to my favorite Britney Spears’ song from her album called “WHY SHOULD I BE SAD?” :)

I don’t need to be sad. I can CHOOSE to be happy.  I'm reminded that I need to have faith in God that everything will turn out okay in the end.  


Therefore, first of all thank you to my teman bicara hati, Naz for being there last night  and seeing KJ’s close up for the first time. Hahahaha… ( you don’t have the look of a Jagau, mind you and please dont be a Jagau in real life)

But most importantly, thank you dear God for showing me the right path over and over and over again.

And ….(do I have to write his name here?) …thank you for loving me.