Be good and stay classy!!!!

Here I am again writing another post when I am considering finishing my blog adventure for good. I mentioned it to Leodi and his reply was "I heard that before!"

Half of me is still here wanting to share my rambles with all but another part of me is saying there are other balls in the air that need my full and complete attention, more responsible things to do.

I was away from blogging a year, soul searching, finding the needed inspiration wondering to write and dedicate to this space again or perhaps not. I did not erase my blog, mainly because I feel the need to come back and read about the past. (five years of blogging).

I have to admit every single minute spent here been well worth it, this space has given me the opportunity to meet some amazing people especially those from my Facebooking session and to whoever is out there, still coming by, reading and enjoying taking a peak in here....  thank you for being with me this past five years.

To kak Honeyza Honey my dua is with you always and whoever reading this post let us sama-sama berdoa semuga Allah berikan kesihatan yg baik untuknya. Amin

Mastura Abd. Malik!!!!……LOVE YOU HEAPS DARLING.

Miss you Ramie and Awan Corner's lotsss

So, until then... Be good and stay classy!!! 

Wink.....wink

It's funny that when we were friends who knew that he and I are going to be parents to three boisterous children.?\

Billy inherited all my disgusting fondness for licking food especially butter, Milo and powdered milk 

Sara is a beauty. Its her eyes.. droopy dad's eyes.

Lyra,,,,,, our peace and quiet is interrupted a million times, She is picking up words in our trilingual home where the words she speaks are split between the three languages she hears daily 

Hubby and I, we were frequently talking underneath the sheet,

(when we are with our three noisy kids we need a sanctuary)

Wink.

Are you sleeping???

God creates so much love between us who seldom see each other but never stop missing each other and I pray that dynamic and the genuine respect I have for him will never die.  

Zoul has always been polite, wishes me good every day wherever and whenever is possible through email, sms, phone calls, skype, whichever is available the moments he is offshore, working and…… Yes, he would calmly and positively explain if I did something wrong and I would just melt away, reading his emails/sms or while listening to him through the phone.  There has to be genuine respect for each other otherwise the love which is there will gradually die.

We have known each other six years before we decided to tie the knots two years ago and during those six years, I fly to work with him, fly home with him. We shared and sleep in the same bunker and use the same toilet with the rest of the crew, wake up and go to work with him, attended meetings and seminars with him, weekend with him, work days with him.

I respect and love this man.

Since becoming a wife, while Zoul is away I had on the mom and dad caps. At times it adds pressure and stress to the job of raising three kids alone. We have a maid to do the day to day chores but during decision making I feel alone. The kids miss daddy but I myself am missing him a lot more.

I always look forward to when Zoul comes through the house doors after months he was away. Sara, Billi and I would race to the door to see who gets to daddy first. Lyra probably would move a few baby steps forward but she is not too excited about daddy’s homecoming.

Since I resigned, I don’t know much about his day and him about mine so he decided that we share three happy moments and one unhappy moment we encountered on a particular day before bed.  (two hour time different between countries).

The only disadvantage is he is usually sleepy by this hour. I am the one who is always chatty and most likely after an hour he is no longer listening.

Zoul: I’m unhappy about x. I’m happy that a…. I’m also happy that b… and my last happy thing is c...

Me: My turn now…. I’m unhappy because this woman…bla bla.  I went to meet her and… bla bla bla… that is why I become unhappy and I just don’t understand why bla and she said bla bla. Zoul….Why do you think it happened that way bla bla bla….

Zoul: Mmmm…

Me: Are you there? I have not told you my three happy moments  Are you… are you asleep? If you’re, you are going on in my unhappy moment for tomorrow night.

Zoul: kroh …kroh

Me:hmmmmmmm……..

Note: this will never work for me!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UNWjCKcrNZ8

Remembering someone?

Zoul brought me over to a secluded place where the beach stretches km away.....

The sand was pristine white, the water was green and blue......, 

The sky was clear blue sort of an immaculate canvas painted over it..........

There were a few anglers far on the hard solid rocks.

We walked hand in hand

I kept silent.

"Remembering someone?"

Yes........

"No"

"You lied. Still miss him eh?"

Yes.........

"No"

"OK. He misses you too"

Really??.......

"OK"

"Let's go. Lunch is up"

I don't miss him......

You are a loser.....

"You!" I roared and I could feel my eyes are now as big as a plate, a finger pointing at you.

"FUCK YOU! You expect me to forget  what you done to me?!  Go ruin your own life!"

"You piece of fag...," for a while I swallowed my own words.

That is the scene from my imagination. 

I think too much.

It did not happen. 

It never will. 

Please accept defeat..........

.........

"I miss you, you know"

Shut up.